marksmoneymakers's profile

Extremely lucky guy
Can you believe it?

Oh happy day!
Times this has happened to me: ZERO.

Are you male or female?
Look down to find the answer.

Just kidding of course

NyQuil limited edition flavor
That's right, folks, I drink NyQuil for the flavor.

Can't blame the giant wiener
I'd have the same expression on my face.

Now they tell us...........

Girl scout cookie racket

I wander which one I will watch?

Woman's logic
A challenge for a man's mind.

I would never to go park during a holiday weekend and I love parks. Just too crowded. It would be more frustrating than fun for me.

A Blonde goes over to her friend's house Wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.

'Why are you wearing a Thank God It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?'

'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't Realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant Tits Go In Front'

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs. I can splash it on my eyes."

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions....

Officer: What's 2+2?

Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!

Officer: What's the square root of 100?

Blonde: Ummmm... 10!

Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?

Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.

Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.

The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds.

The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty pounds.

She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:

"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"So then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"So then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

A blonde named Mary decides to do something really wild. Something she hasn't done before, so she goes out to rent her first X-rated adult video.

She goes to the video store, and after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating.

She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR.

To her disappointment, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.

"I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape but static," she says.

"Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" the clerk replies.

"Head Cleaner," Mary replies.

A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door.

He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints?

The blonde says, "Sure anything." "Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies.

"I don't know, say $50 bucks."

"Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside.

His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks. The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more."

"But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!"

10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blond stands there and says, "All done." With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch."

"Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says to him "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."

"That's odd" replied the doctor "Show me what you mean"

So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

The doctor says to her "Your not a natural brunette are you?"

"No I'm a blonde" she replies.

"I thought so.... your finger is broken." replies the doctor.

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

"I've pulled you over for speeding, Ma'am. Could I see your drivers license?"

"What's a license???" replied the blonde, instantly giving away the fact that she was as dumb as a stump.

"It's usually in your wallet," replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes, the driver managed to find it. "Now may I see your registration?" asked the cop.

"Registration..... what's that....?" asked the blonde.

"It's usually in your glove compartment." said the cop impatiently. After some more fumbling, she found the registration.

"I'll be back in a minute." said the cop and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the woman's license and registration. After a few moments, the dispatcher came back, "Ummm... is this woman driving a red sports car?"

"Yes." replied the officer

"Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde?" asked the dispatcher

"Uh... yes." replied the cop.

"Here's what you do." said the dispatcher. "Give her the stuff back, and drop your pants."

"What!!? I can't do that. Its... inappropriate." exclaimed the cop.

"Trust me. Just do it." said the dispatcher.

So the cop goes back to the car, gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

The blonde looks down and sighs..... "Ohh no... not another breathalyzer......"

There was once a magic mirror in a ladies room in a bar. If one stood in front of this mirror and tells the truth, one is granted a wish. However, if one tells a lie, *POOF* you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.

A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world." *POOF* The mirror swallows her.

Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, "I think I think I'm the sexiest woman alive! *POOF* The mirror swallows her.

Then an absolutely gorgeous blond comes in and stands before the mirror and says, "I think..." *POOF*

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing.
She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice.
Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." Startled the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another.

Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE." The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward and said, "Is that you Lord?"

The voice replied, "No ... this is the Ice-Rink Manager...."

I overlooked this one. Under looks pretty good to me. Good Luck with your play. Hope it hits for ya.

Got the dodgers too. love that they are a dog tonight. good luck and thanks for posting.

Lot of plays. Good luck to you. Hard to lay 1.5 with those phillies. I am on Washington tonight. Washington has won six in a row at philly.

Hi Dana! Welcome to the forum. Looking forward to your posts and info. Good Luck, I think you will really enjoy BangTheBook.

Interesting. Who would have ever guessed they would have done so well.

Ryan Tannehill gets a taste of NFL speed in OTAs




Miami Dolphins owner Stephen Ross pointed to quarterback Matt Moore as the team's likely starter heading into the season.

Popular thinking suggests Moore's top competition will come from rookie Ryan Tannehill, but another quarterback showed promise during Tuesday's gathering.

"I've consulted with the jury, and we're giving today's OTA session to David Garrard. Decision-making is quick. Tannehill is slow," wrote Omar Kelly of the South Florida Sun Sentinel.
Darlington: Dolphins unified at QB
Owners tend to overstep their bounds at times, but Jeff Darlington applauds Stephen Ross' remarks on Miami's QB race. More ...

After months of theorizing on quarterback battles league-wide, we're finally seeing action on the field, but snapshots in May beg for perspective. These are practices, largely against South Florida's atmosphere, when it comes to the Dolphins, and little more. If Tannehill looked anything but slow Tuesday, we'd be surprised.

"It's faster," Tannehill told reporters. "I mean it kind of is what I thought it would be. It's faster. Guys are faster. The play happens faster. But I was expecting it. You know, I wasn't in a situation where I kind of sat back and said. 'Wow, so fast.' It is what it is. It's ... just about getting adjusted to it."

Tannehill was asked to respond to the owner's theory that Moore would start Week 1: "I'm going to go out and compete every day," Tannehill said. "Whatever the situation is, I'm here to compete. I'm here to one day play, so I'm going to go out and give my best every day, and whatever the decision is at the end of camp, then that's what it is."

Miami's quarterback battle remains intriguing, primarily because of Tannehill. Garrard spoke again Tuesday about the rookie's grasp of the offense, suggesting Tannehill doesn't have "starry eyes," but is instead "giving us tips on things." That is unusual for May, but we're not reading too much into what is seen or heard down in Miami. There are miles to go in the race for the team's starting role.

I am a a Celtic fan if you could not tell. I just have a gut feeling they are capable of beating Miami. There is just something not right with Miami this year. Does not feel like their heads are on straight. Then again, Boston has to play nearly perfect ball to have a shot. Maybe just wishful thinking on my part. Thanks for your thoughts Jimmy.

Wow, got them covered again tonight. Good Luck Jimmy!!

Hard to believe the Mets were dogs tonight. I have them as well. good so far, 1-0 in fourth

looks like a solid card. good luck and thanks for posting.

Thanks Barb! Baseball is such a long season. Betting nearly everyday get old sometimes. I feel a small break coming on soon.

Hard not to like atlanta with Beachy pitching at such low odds. Hope it wins for you. I have them too.