thehitman Posts:3095 Followers:5
On 01/22/2013 06:30 PM in General

Back At The Bar

After my very unsuccessful nite out last week at the bar, fully confident now, I reassessed my approach system.

So, I walked up to the first nice looking gal I saw. I noticed she had gorgeous full lips. So I opened with "Wanna play Army ? I can lay down and you can blow the hell outta me."

I found quickly that the Army pick up line wasn't very good. I tried another with a cute lil perky blonde who just walked in. I quickly introdeuce myself.........."Hi" I said. "My name is Hitman. Remember that, you'll be screaming that alot later." I guess she had a sore throat as she didn't even bother to answer me.

Getting more frustrated, I downed another shot and thought maybe I better try another approach. The tall leggy redhead looked just perfect, so I thought she would be receptive to a more get to the point opening line. "Great legs" I mused. "What time do they open?" I guesss he forgot her watch as she didn't answer me either.

Maybe, I thought, I was setting my sights too high. So, I walked around a bit more when I eyed a rather plain but nonetheless attractive middle aged woman. I didn't want to repeat my past failures, so I just licked and wet my finger and wiped it on her blouse. Then I said "Honey, let's get you out of these wet clothes." I then had to duck to avoid the drink she threw at me. Maybe she wanted to get me out of my wet clothes, too, but that sure was a strange way of showing it.

I must be feeling a bit tipsy all of the women are beginning to look really good. It's getting really late, so I just try the candid approach on a slightly chunky gal with an overbite and braces. Maybe she will appreciate my honesty, I thought. I walked up smoothly and politely said "You may not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away." God, that slap hurt, guess she prefers someone who lies..

What's the matter with women nowadays ?None seem to want a good time.

I went home alone......again

Never, ever criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes........for at that point they will be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes !