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Cigarette in hand, I walked up to a gal in a bar the other nite and asked her if she had a light. "Yes, I do," she replied. "Good" I said. "Turn it on the next time you're getting dressed because you look pretty awful."
Feeling my oats a bit more, I then walked up to another girl and for my opening line I asked her if she would wear shoes if he didn't have any feet. Looking confused, "No, I don't think I would" came the reply. I looked her up and down and then asked her "Then why are you wearing a bra?"
I had another drink and I hoped thing would be getting better for me socially. I notice this babe with some awesome looking tits at the other end of the bar. I casually made my way over there and when I was close enough for her to notice, I nodded towards them and commented "It's a shame about them." "What?" she asked. "Your breasts, it's a shame about them." She exclaimed that "Most men say they are the finest they have ever seen." They are," I answered. "So why is it a shame? she wanted to know. I told her that "It's a shame they belong to that face."
I went home alone......... again.
Never, ever criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes........for at that point they will be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes !