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Monday's List of 13: Wrapping up an NFL Sunday..........
13) If you ever get the idea that these pro teams know everything about how they run their franchises, think again. Denver drafted Arizona State's Brock Osweiler in the 2nd round; QB turned out to not be an area of need.
Seattle drafted Russell Wilson in the third round, despite paying $13M for former Green Bay backup Matt Flynn. Its worked out well for them, but that $13M might've been better-spent elsewhere.
Also have to remember Tom Brady was a 6th round pick, two-time MVP Kurt Warner was never drafted. Drafting is an inexact science.
12) Iowa State sold its allotment of 10,000 tickets for the Liberty Bowl in less than 72 hours; that people, is how you get invited to bowls even after a mediocre 6-6 season. Bowls are businesses, thats the bottom line.
11) Who thought the Chargers would win easily in Pittsburgh? Five of 12 San Diego drives started in Steeler territory; Bolts had an 18-yard advantage in field position. Four teams this week had a 10+ yard edge in average field position- they scored an average of 42.5 ppg, covering all four games.
10) Colts' Bruce Arians is going to be Coach of the Year, even though he is an interim coach, but can't overlook the job Jeff Fisher is doing with Rams, who were 2-14 last year, 15-65 the previous five years. At 6-6-1, the Rams are still alive for a playoff spot, despite an offense that just isn't very good.
Sam Bradford led an 84-yard, 14-play drive that won the game with 0:48 left; watching the first half, you wouldn't have thought it was possible.
9) Tampa Bay Rays traded James Shields to the Royals for Wil Myers, the big outfield prospect. End of an era for the Rays; Shields helped Tampa Bay get to the World Series in 2008. Thats modern baseball; guys get some mileage on them, they start earning big money, they become expendable.
8) Cleveland Browns won their third game in row; wonder if their new owner has made up his mind about about whether to keep coach Shurmur or not. They seem to be making some progress.
7) Giants had a 30-yard edge in average field position; don't think I've ever seen that before. 7 of 13 Giant drives started in New Orleans territory, plus they ran a kick back for a TD.
6) If you owned the Dodgers, and you're going to wheel out the biggest payroll in baseball history next spring, are you content that your manager is Don Mattingly? Wouldn't you want a more accomplished skipper?
5) Carolina whacked the Falcons, Philly won at Tampa Bay; hard to figure this stuff out. Minnesota scored three TD's; one on a 5-yard drive, another scored by defense. Bears are 7-16 when Brian Urlacher doesn't play.
4) Bengals dropped back to pass 38 times, ran it 20 times against a defense whose starting nose tackle is hurt, its #2 nose tackle is in jail; not good.
Cincinnati drove 70 yards in five plays for a TD first time they had the ball, then never scored another TD, as they gagged away a 20-19 loss to Dallas, kicking field goals on their last three red zone drives, thanks in part couple drops by star WR AJ Green, who had a dismal game.
3) Backup QB Kirk Cousins led a game-tying drive in the last minute for Washington, after RGIII bruised his knee, then the Redskins won 31-28 in OT. What looked like a serious injury for Griffin turned out to be less so, as Redskin coaches/fans/players breathe a huge sigh of relief.
2) Seattle 58, Arizona 0. At one point, Cardinals had 8 turnovers, 7 first downs; their QB play is becoming legendary for its incompetence. Their QB coach is a guy named John McNulty, who played safety at Penn State. No disrespect to Mr McNulty, but in the NFL, think you need someone who has played the position to coach the position at the highest level.
1) Lions lost their third game in row when they led by 10+ points, tying an NFL record; they haven't won in Wisconsin since 1991. They keep finding new ways to lose every week. Horrendous!
Do you remember how awesome Matt Millen was with the Detroit Lions? Oh, those were some terrific times. But for as bad as Millen was as a president of an NFL team, I truly believe that Roger Goodell is just as awful running the entire league. Take this week's profile in Time Magazine for example. Ol' Ginger Dick apparently wants to eliminate the kickoff because it's more dangerous than war. O RLY? If you haven't heard, he wants to take it away from the game and replace it with the team that just scored getting a 4th and 15 from their own 30. They can go for it or punt. SO DUMB. Yeah, that's what football fans want to see...Make It, Take It.
If the kickoff is tantamount to Kobe Bryant hotel rape (it is not) then how about this simple proposal as opposed to Goodell's tard plan: do it like they do in high school. If the kick reaches the end zone, it's an automatic touchback. I feel like most kickers just crush it through the end zone anyway which makes this idea even more stupid. Stop pussifying the game, Rog. No one cares about player safety. Roger Goodell sucks. Onto the rest of week fourteen's worst:
Josh Brent - Well look at that, another player death this week! You've got to love dumb pro athletes who just refuse to use the car service that is readily available for them for free. This whole situation is just sad though...because we only got rid of one Cowboy and not all of them. COUNT IT.
Keyshawn Johnson - He took a break from wearing his own jersey (j/k, he would never do that) to mouth fart that young players don't have enough money to afford cabs and that is why they drunk drive and kill their buddies. FYI, the minimum NFL salary in 2012 is $390,000. Keyshawn is a fucking dolt.
The Return of Romeo, Hillis, and Rainbow Tenor - One of the dumbest subplots of the season was the little ex-GF spat between Hillis and Joe Thomas earlier this week. The Chiefs, built with a whole fuckload of ex-Browns, were coming back home to exact some revenge. Or not. The Chiefs are the worst.
Bad Browns Fans - I don't understand those that want their team to lose in order to get a higher draft pick. If you have a QB then you shouldn't want to lose ever. Whether or not you believe in Weeden is pointless because he is going to be there for the next few years. These guys need to learn to win. And they are. Quit being a dipshit.
Bengals - You deserved to lose that game and probably missing out on the playoffs. Good job by the Bengals losing to Team Dead Guy. Maybe one day Terrence Newman will learn how to catch. By the way, always bet on teams who just had a guy die the day before. They are 2-0 ATS.
Andrew Luck - Let's slow down on calling goblin boy the GOAT. Yeah, he is winning games and that is really all that matters BUT dude is leading the league in interceptions. The same league also features weekly Mark Sanchez, too. I just want to remind everyone that I picked the Colts to make the playoffs before the season started. I CALLED THIS SHIT.
Jay Cutler's Head - He should just retire. The Bears clearly do not care about his health. Just walk away and start up another Laguna Beach franchise or something. Adrian Peterson Update: still the best and the MVP because he is not a human being. AP is the TROOF.
Norv > Tomlin - HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Also Batch > Ben. Who the fuck gets smoked by the Chargers at home? They lost to the Browns! It's a damn shame that the Bingles lost because I would truly enjoy the Steelers sitting at home in January. But I can't be too mean since I will be rooting for them to kill more Cowboys next Sunday. We know that James Harrison has the guns to mow a few down.
Atlanta getting punked - Leading up to the game, Panthers DE Greg Hardy called the Falcons frauds and fags and skidmarks and whatever. He was right. The Falcons suck. Matt Ryan is hot garbage. He was missing open receivers by ten yards all day. Michael Turner is just a 300 pound ass with arms at this point. This team peaked way too early. They will lose their first playoff game yet again.
Cam Newton - Oh, how did you like his three months of trolling leading up to now? Can you believe this guy? If you somehow made your fantasy playoffs with Cam on your team, congratulations on the miracle, plus you are going to win your league. GUARANTEED. Cam is ELITE when there is nothing to play for.
Greg Schiano - It serves that douche right to lose a game like that to the terrible Eagles. After Napoleon Dynamite threw the GW TD, JB made the correct comment that the Eagles coaching staff are all 400 pounds. Just gross people.
The State of Arizona - This was the worst offensive game possibly ever. I'm not just blaming the Cards, I'm blaming the entire state.
Drew Brees - OK now, this is two weeks of straight garbage from the Breesus. And now that RG3sus is shaky, who will be the new -sus? Adrian Pesustersen? Nah, that makes too MUCH sense. I'm just going to say it: Drew Brees sucks.
Finally, the week is upon us (and the rest of you assholes that read and never comment like a bunch of free-loading shit-bricks), Its the week before bowl season and Im heading to Disneyworld and I'm bringing all of my African American Lion fans with me. The goal is to get up there on Wednesday and be back by Saturday for the first bowl game. By the way, there is no way in Hell that the Lions are capable of losing to the Cardinals next week. Is there?
Are you ready for Monday Night? Anyone follow Charissa Thompson on ESPN. I think cause she is almost 40 years old that I have a better chance when I dream about her than with the younger ESPN hotties. Thats not wrong in my thinking right?
Maybe she will get me my own Bowl show next year, which Im sure would top everyone else.
Okay back to tonights game as bowl season is around the corner.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS -4
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS/HOUSTON TEXANS OVER 50 POINTS
Remember I parlay some of my better bets with some solid bowl picks so using the Patriots in individual parlays with
Wisconsin, Utah State, Cincinnati, Louisville and Tulsa. Just saying.