Let's move on...lotta shit to cover today.
Texas A&M – Not so much for beating Alabama, but more so for shutting the mouths of moronic fuck faces who honestly believe ROLL DAMN TIDE could have beaten an NFL team this year. Go drink my piss, piss out my piss, then re-drink the combination of part my piss, part your piss. And as my friend pointed out to me on Saturday, watching Nick Saban cry like a bitch on the sideline will always brighten the spirits.
Syracuse – This is strictly for proving to the seventeen Louisville fans out there that a Big East team should never be considered to play in the national title game. Now that we're all done laughing at you, you can go back to cheering for your borderline mid-major school in the Sears and Roebuck bowl played on December 24th. PS...get fucked.
The crew officiating the Nebraska/Penn State game – Someone should be fired after that blown call at the goal line. For those who didn't see, in the waning minutes of the 4th quarter. Redhead McPennStateQuarterback drove the Nittany KidRapers down the field for the go ahead score. After the tip penetrated (ELITE SEXUAL REFERENCE!) the goal line, the tight end I'm too lazy to Google had the ball knocked away by a defender who I'm definitely not Googling. The ruling on the field was a touch back and after CLEAR evidence was shown that the ball crossed before the fumble, dickwad referee, still blinded by Pelini pole sauce, didn't reverse the call to the correct call thus locking Nebraska in for the win. Tragic loss because of one of the worst calls ever made.
Northwestern's defense – My only regret is that I wasn't able to be within taunting distance of Patricia Fitzgerald when his defense fucking handed Michigan the win on Saturday. Wow. Just fucking wow! They had that game won after that Gardner head scratching pick. Fully and completely. But hey...typical Northwestern.
Jalen McClendon – TECHNICALLY he's not a college player...because he's still a Junior in high school. But this site is revolutionary and doesn't restrict itself or allow itself to be held back by minor details so we can bring you things like this fucking hilarious story. This cock waste McClendon doucher was kicked out of a state playoff game for taunting. After scoring a touchdown, he did the Cam Newton “I suck but still do this neato Superman thingy when I score in garbage time” touchdown celebration. In all actuality, he should have been kicked out for imitating a fucking idiotic celebration by a terrible, cry baby faggot. That's the real embarrassing part, I think. Can't wait to see this crotch stain at the next level!
Johnny Football – AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!! Another stupid fucking nickname for dick sniffing announcers to violently rape every week as if they're the only ones smart enough to use it. It's gonna be the fucking Honey Badger all over again but waaaaaaay more intolerable and overused since this kid's white, likable and doesn't have a sticky icky business on the side. Welcome to the Johnny Football era, everyone. Please leave your sanity at the door and don't forget to fist yourself on the way out.
The Spooky Lock of the Week
If the point of this segment is to pick the team that will win then I am on fucking FIRE, my friends! I'm not insisting you put money on these awesome picks but if you did you would be rolling in Spooky bucks. Let's see if we can keep this winning streak intact and the money safely tucked away in your wallets.
USC will roll the doors of the Bruins. They won by 50 last year and now are a field goal favorite. No matter how good the coaching has been with UCLA this year no way they make up that much of a difference. FIGHT ON!!!
And if you dont want to believe in the crimson and gold, Oklahoma will roll as well over an inept WVU team.
There you go, shit suckers.
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