spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
On 11/13/2012 02:23 PM in NCAA Football

SPOOKY'S "IS IT TIME FOR SHAMELESS YET" WEEKLY COLLEGE FOOTBALL EXPRESS

The bestest and worst from Spooky's College Football

Let's move on...lotta shit to cover today.

The Good

Texas A&M – Not so much for beating Alabama, but more so for shutting the mouths of moronic fuck faces who honestly believe ROLL DAMN TIDE could have beaten an NFL team this year. Go drink my piss, piss out my piss, then re-drink the combination of part my piss, part your piss. And as my friend pointed out to me on Saturday, watching Nick Saban cry like a bitch on the sideline will always brighten the spirits.

Syracuse – This is strictly for proving to the seventeen Louisville fans out there that a Big East team should never be considered to play in the national title game. Now that we're all done laughing at you, you can go back to cheering for your borderline mid-major school in the Sears and Roebuck bowl played on December 24th. PS...get fucked.

The Tard

The crew officiating the Nebraska/Penn State game – Someone should be fired after that blown call at the goal line. For those who didn't see, in the waning minutes of the 4th quarter. Redhead McPennStateQuarterback drove the Nittany KidRapers down the field for the go ahead score. After the tip penetrated (ELITE SEXUAL REFERENCE!) the goal line, the tight end I'm too lazy to Google had the ball knocked away by a defender who I'm definitely not Googling. The ruling on the field was a touch back and after CLEAR evidence was shown that the ball crossed before the fumble, dickwad referee, still blinded by Pelini pole sauce, didn't reverse the call to the correct call thus locking Nebraska in for the win. Tragic loss because of one of the worst calls ever made.

Northwestern's defense – My only regret is that I wasn't able to be within taunting distance of Patricia Fitzgerald when his defense fucking handed Michigan the win on Saturday. Wow. Just fucking wow! They had that game won after that Gardner head scratching pick. Fully and completely. But hey...typical Northwestern.


The Tardest

Jalen McClendon – TECHNICALLY he's not a college player...because he's still a Junior in high school. But this site is revolutionary and doesn't restrict itself or allow itself to be held back by minor details so we can bring you things like this fucking hilarious story. This cock waste McClendon doucher was kicked out of a state playoff game for taunting. After scoring a touchdown, he did the Cam Newton “I suck but still do this neato Superman thingy when I score in garbage time” touchdown celebration. In all actuality, he should have been kicked out for imitating a fucking idiotic celebration by a terrible, cry baby faggot. That's the real embarrassing part, I think. Can't wait to see this crotch stain at the next level!

Johnny Football – AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!! Another stupid fucking nickname for dick sniffing announcers to violently rape every week as if they're the only ones smart enough to use it. It's gonna be the fucking Honey Badger all over again but waaaaaaay more intolerable and overused since this kid's white, likable and doesn't have a sticky icky business on the side. Welcome to the Johnny Football era, everyone. Please leave your sanity at the door and don't forget to fist yourself on the way out.

The Spooky Lock of the Week

If the point of this segment is to pick the team that will win then I am on fucking FIRE, my friends! I'm not insisting you put money on these awesome picks but if you did you would be rolling in Spooky bucks. Let's see if we can keep this winning streak intact and the money safely tucked away in your wallets.

USC will roll the doors of the Bruins. They won by 50 last year and now are a field goal favorite. No matter how good the coaching has been with UCLA this year no way they make up that much of a difference. FIGHT ON!!!

And if you dont want to believe in the crimson and gold, Oklahoma will roll as well over an inept WVU team.

There you go, shit suckers.

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spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/13/2012 02:25 PM

Tuesday's List of 13: Nobody asked me, but...........

13) Seven SEC football teams are playing I-AA foes this weekend. 7 out of 14; half the SEC. Is it some kind of holiday I don't know about?

12) Georgia made the SEC football title game, so coach Mark Richt cashes in a $150,000 contract bonus; hope he at least buys the players pizza to thank them.

11) Kentucky beat Maryland by 3 in Brooklyn in large part because of a smallish former walk-on named Jarrod Polson, who got one scholarship offer, from Liberty of the Big South Conference. Go figure. Wildcats play Duke tonight, in feature game of the ESPN college hoops marathon.

10) Fresno State scored three defensive TDs Saturday night in Reno; don't see that too often in college ball.

9) NCAA basketball Eastern Regionals will be in Madison Square Garden in 2014, first time NCAAs have been in MSG since 1961.

8) Pac-12 basketball tournament in March is in Las Vegas, at MGM Grand; interesting to see how that event draws, but for the other 10 teams, guess its better than going to LA every March.

7) Three college hoop games on ships were a debacle this year; only one was actually finished, and that game was awful because of the wind. Still, there will be games on ships next year. There has to be better way to honor the military than holding games under poor playing conditions.

6) If you're a night owl and like golf, Australian Masters is this weekend, so that'll be fun. Golf Channel has the action.

5) Speaking of which, Camilo Villegas/Stuart Appleby are both headed back to Q School, thats how competitive the PGA Tour is. Appleby has won nine PGA tournaments in his long career.

4) Jeremy Lin is first Harvard graduate to play in the NBA since 1954.

3) Clippers/Lakers both played at home Sunday; would love to know how many people were at both games.

2) Funny how the Knicks canned Mike D'Antoni because their so-called superstar wouldn't play hard for him, but the Lakers signed him up to be their coach, because Steve Nash/Kobe Bryant like playing for him. Not too hard to see why the Knicks' last title was in 1973, when they had a reserve forward named Jackson. #18, Phil Jackson.

1) Watching all this NBA coaching news, something tells me Phil Jackson didn't really want to coach the Lakers, so he kept asking for stuff until they looked elsewhere. Didn't want to turn his girlfriend down, but didn't want to work for her daddy/brother anymore.

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spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/13/2012 02:26 PM

Last weeks College Football List of 13: Wrapping up college football from last Saturday......

Another winning week and killer thread on the Express in College Football again!!


13) Texas A&M wins 29-24 at Alabama, a shocking result, but we're seeing how college teams cannot get up emotionally for big games in consecutive weeks. Look up some schedules from 15-20 years ago; before the big games, teams had the week before off, to gear up. Can't do that now.

12) I'm not going to say much about the butchered replay call in the Penn State-Nebraska game, because it cost me a contest pick this week and I'm bitter about it, but I'll say this; the name and picture of the replay official has to be put on TV before every game, so these people, whoever they are, know they are accountable for their decisions.

That call was: best case: missed badly/worst case: corrupt as hell. Thats all I'm going to say about it, but I hope that replay official got fired.

11) If you had Army +18 Saturday, skip this item; they were tied 7-7 with less than 11:00 left at Rutgers, were down 21-7 in the last minute, but the backup QB fumbled, and a defender ran 73 yards for the covering TD with a miserable 0:40 left. Sometimes life ain't fair.

10) 18 players have left the Washington State program since the start of the season, as Mike Leach weeds out guys he doesn't want around. State had an awful first half against UCLA, trailing 37-7, but they put on an impressive rally, falling short 44-36 late Saturday night in Pullman.

Leach is going to win at Wazzu, but its going to take another year or two.

9) West Virginia lost its last four games, allowing 198 points (49.5 ppg) in the four games. Some teams appear not to care about defense at all.

8) Congrats to Lock Haven State, which beat Cheyney State 15-7, ending a 52-game losing streak. No one deserves to lose for five straight years.

7) Bad news for NBA's Rockets: Head coach Kevin McHale is taking an indefinite leave of absence to deal with a family matter.

Good news: Former Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson is interim head coach, and now he can text players as much as he wants; its legal in NBA. He texted a little too much for the NCAA's liking when he was at Oklahoma and Indiana, as he broke numerous NCAA recruiting rules.

6) Miami lost 41-40 at Virginia on a TD with 0:06 left, the fourth Hurricane game this year where the losing side scored 32+ points. Miami had won the previous three of those games. A terrible pass interference call kept the winning Virginia drive alive.

5) Northwestern coughed up a 24-14 lead with 17:00 left, as Michigan tied game after a ridiculous jump ball completion that led to the tying FG in last :05. In OT, the Wolverines won 38-31, a bitter loss for the Wildcats, who are 7-3 but could just as easily be 10-0.
Does it seem to anyone else that Northwestern has blown late lead after late lead the past couple of years. At some point isnt it the coaches fault. My lord how do you keep losing like that.

4) Texas Tech escaped with a 41-34 OT win over lowly Kansas, but not before Red Raider coach Tommy Tuberville was seen on TV slapping an assistant coach in the head, knocking his hat askew. Weird thing to see, football is an emotional game, but its usually asistants who are emotional, not the head coach.

3) Two of the best coaching jobs in America are being down out west in the Mountain West, where Fresno State/San Diego State are both 8-3. Tim DeRuyter is a first-year coach at Fresno, while Rocky Long has Aztecs in bowl contention despite losing his QB and star RB from LY. Well done.

2) Biggest upsets of the week: 16-point underdog UMass won 22-14 at Akron, and 16-point dog Florida Atlantic won 37-28 at Western Kentucky. FAU has been playing great the 2nd half of the season and Coach Pellino may have gotten something right in his first season there. FAU has covered a bunch of games now and were a live underdog this week as I mentioned on the express.

1) Florida trailed UL-Lafayette 20-13 late in game, tied it with 1:42 left, then blocked a ULL punt and ran it in for a TD with 0:02 left, stunning the Ragin' Cajuns 27-20. Gators looked awful, but Sun Belt teams have spunk.

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spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/13/2012 02:26 PM


Tuesday's List of 13: Nobody asked me, but...........

13) Seven SEC football teams are playing I-AA foes this weekend. 7 out of 14; half the SEC. Is it some kind of holiday I don't know about?

12) Georgia made the SEC football title game, so coach Mark Richt cashes in a $150,000 contract bonus; hope he at least buys the players pizza to thank them.

11) Kentucky beat Maryland by 3 in Brooklyn in large part because of a smallish former walk-on named Jarrod Polson, who got one scholarship offer, from Liberty of the Big South Conference. Go figure. Wildcats play Duke tonight, in feature game of the ESPN college hoops marathon.

10) Fresno State scored three defensive TDs Saturday night in Reno; don't see that too often in college ball.

9) NCAA basketball Eastern Regionals will be in Madison Square Garden in 2014, first time NCAAs have been in MSG since 1961.

8) Pac-12 basketball tournament in March is in Las Vegas, at MGM Grand; interesting to see how that event draws, but for the other 10 teams, guess its better than going to LA every March.

7) Three college hoop games on ships were a debacle this year; only one was actually finished, and that game was awful because of the wind. Still, there will be games on ships next year. There has to be better way to honor the military than holding games under poor playing conditions.

6) If you're a night owl and like golf, Australian Masters is this weekend, so that'll be fun. Golf Channel has the action.

5) Speaking of which, Camilo Villegas/Stuart Appleby are both headed back to Q School, that's how competitive the PGA Tour is. Appleby has won nine PGA tournaments in his long career.

4) Jeremy Lin is first Harvard graduate to play in the NBA since 1954.

3) Clippers/Lakers both played at home Sunday; would love to know how many people were at both games.

2) Funny how the Knicks canned Mike D'Antoni because their so-called superstar wouldn't play hard for him, but the Lakers signed him up to be their coach, because Steve Nash/Kobe Bryant like playing for him. Not too hard to see why the Knicks' last title was in 1973, when they had a reserve forward named Jackson. #18, Phil Jackson.

1) Watching all this NBA coaching news, something tells me Phil Jackson didn't really want to coach the Lakers, so he kept asking for stuff until they looked elsewhere. Didn't want to turn his girlfriend down, but didn't want to work for her daddy/brother anymore.

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thehitman Posts:2053 Followers:4
11/13/2012 06:00 PM

Haven't thanked you recently for all this stuff, Spook. Been busy, took vacation X2 and now friends/relatives in NY need time. Pretty soon it is really your turn to shine...............bowl season !!

Never, ever criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes........for at that point they will be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes !
coverit Posts:996 Followers:3
11/13/2012 06:21 PM

You are one angry man buddy! Love it.

fUCLA scares me this week. I'm hoping my Trojans wipe the floor with them though, as usual. Actually like the job Mora has done there. But.. they're still bRUINS.

I must be gettin' old... I still think baseball is cool.

  • 11/13/2012 06:29 PM

    First of all they are not your Trojans. They were mine before they were yours. Yeah Im older than you so STFU. I think Mora has dont an outstanding job with UCLA. I do root for them, unlike you I have a soft spot for the Bruins. But not when they are playing SC and unless Barkley decides once again to throw the ball to the wrong team this should not be that close. Aside from the dumb penalites and stupid turnovers they seem to stay consistent with.

    And Im not angry dammit.

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spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/14/2012 10:39 AM

Wednesday's six-pack

-- Knicks beat Orlando by 10, are now 5-0; they visit San Antonio and Memphis later this week, which should be more interesting games.

-- Charlotte Bobcats were 7-59 last season; they're 3-3 this year, under Mike Dunlap, who was interim coach at St John's last year.

-- Michigan State beat Kansas by 3, bouncing back from loss in Germany; lot of travel for college kids, but it'll make them a better team.

-- Marlins traded five guys: Reyes-Buehrle-Buck-Johnson-Bonifacio to the Blue Jays, for Yunel Escobar and two minor leaguers, as Jeffrey Luria once again proves he's the sport's worst owner.

-- Former used car salesman Alan R. Selig is stealing money as Commish, since he allows BS like this to happen. Bowie Kuhn wouldn't have.

-- Congrats to Davey Johnson and Bob Melvin on being named Manager of the Year Tuesday; Melvin was especially excellent this past season.

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spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/14/2012 10:40 AM

Wednesday's List of 13: Our football Lists for a Wednesday......

4) Alabama-- Wouldn't be stunning to see them wind up in national title game, even after they lost to Texas A&M.

3) Notre Dame-- Lost eight of last nine games with USC, but did win last visit to LA; need to beat Trojans to stay alive for national title.

2) Kansas State-- At Baylor, Texas at home; win those two, and its off to an unlikely national title shot. Bill Snyder is an amazing coach.

1) Oregon-- Chip Kelly will be in the NFL soon.

9) Buccaneers-- Scored 36-42-34 points in last three games.

8) Steelers-- Hanging on this list by Big Ben's strained shoulder ligament; if he is out for a while, they'll struggle to make playoffs.

7) 49ers-- Lack offensive balance with mobile Kaepernick at QB.

6) Ravens-- Scored TD on fake FG with 41-17 lead vs Raiders, late in third quarter. Harbaughs don't care who they offend.

5) Packers-- They beat Texans/Bears, needed bye to get healthier.

4) Bears-- Jason Campbell deserves a year where everything goes his way; this could be his chance, with Cutler having a concussion.

3) Broncos-- John Fox got his Christmas present last spring. Number 18.

2) Falcons-- Baffling why they seem to gag against rival Saints.

1) Texans-- Road to AFC title should go through Houston.

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coverit Posts:996 Followers:3
11/14/2012 11:04 AM

You have a soft spot for the Bruins?????? YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!!!!!!!!

And it's not crimson, that's FSU damn it, it's CARDINAL AND GOLD! I've let it slide for so many years, but can't any longer!

YOU HATE UCLA, PERIOD!

I must be gettin' old... I still think baseball is cool.

spooky Posts:4092 Followers:294
11/14/2012 06:29 PM

Blah Blah Blah Blah to Cover It
I thought you painted Grayson's room crimson and gold. lol

Here are a couple plays for tonight and already like a few for the weekend which I will throw out tomorrow night. Some nice
underdogs in college. Lets hope we continue to roll into Bowl Season.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

NORTHERN ILLINOIS/TOLEDO OVER 67 POINTS

BALL STATE -5

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