You are using an old web browser. Such browsers do not support modern web technologies and do not offer proper security. Please update your browser or download one of the others suggested for free.
Mozilla Firefox |
Google Chrome |
Internet Explorer |
SPOOKY'S SEND THE NFL OWNERS AND ROGER GOODELL TO CAST AWAY ISLAND COLLEGE FOOTBALL EXPRESS
College Football Week 4 Recap
Well, shit. Back to reality after that horrible ending in the MNF game last night.
Anyway, since I like all of you (well, almost all of you) way more than I like the actual real people I hang out with...any of the shit dicks that comment here on a regular basis are officially invited to Punta Cana with Ryan and myself in 2 weeks.
Well, we've got a lot to cover so let's hit it.
Hey. I'll give it up to a guy who breaks an NCAA passing record. I don't care where you play, 730 yards is pretty filthy. I'm actually surprised that he only had 5 TDs to go along with the yards. Normally when you see that many yards it's paired with double digit scores.
Okay Seminoles...I'm listening. That was a pretty impressive win over a very good Clemson team. What made it so impressive is how balanced the offense was. No INTs (Take fucking notes Denard) and two guys over 100 yards rushing. I'm not fully on board yet because FSU has a pristine reputation for getting fucking cleaned out by inferior opponents as the season wears on. But they have my attention. Stay tuned...
Don't drunkenly text me about how shitty Denard Robinson is when your own team needs 4 quarters to put away the bottom of the dumpster of the Conference USA. THE ELITE CONFERENCE USA WITH POWERHOUSE TEAMS SUCH AS CENTRAL FLORIDA! RESPECT!! Hope you got your big boy shorts on this weekend because State is just a tad more ferocious than any of the gaping anuses Ohio has squirted by in the first 4 weeks. There's nothing better than watching a loud mouth Fuckeye fan (Brady) eat a plate of his own steaming feces once the competition is a little better than mid majors. We'll see how accurate (61% and falling) Braxton "Joe Montana" Miller is while Wild Bill Gholston is trying to turn his rectum inside out.
Looks like someone hit the toilet water a little too hard instead of preparing for a fucking horrid Auburn team that should have been beaten by a thousand. Seriously...Auburn needed OT to beat Louisiana-Monroe. How was Auburn even in this game? LSU looks to be, dare I say? OVERRATED???
Really? This was a Heisman finalist last year? With every Montee Ball jersey that is purchased in Madison moving forward you get a complimentary bloody tampon with it. The first 500 are autographed and serial numbered.
-The entire Big 10
This conference is a third world country, wire hanger in a ceramic bathtub amateur abortion. No team is an exception and anyone who tries to defend any team in this fucking joke conference gargles poop water in their leisure time. It's so fucking sad what the Big 10 has become. I compare it to the 50 year old hag who was pretty hot back in the 80's and 90's but refuses to believe she's lost a step since. Still wears the Billy Squier t-shirts. Still drives the Thunderbird that gets 8 miles to the gallon. Still cashes in on the Marlboro miles. It's over, bitch. You're saggy, gross and no one wants to ruin their dick by getting it anywhere near your nasty, rotten, wrinkly beav.
This year can't be over soon enough for Michigan fans. If no other Michigan fan has the sack to say it out loud, then I fucking will. I can't wait until Denard is gone. I'm done with this asshole holding the team hostage every fucking week. If I'm forced to watch another INT that is nowhere fucking near a maize and blue uniform I will rip my cock out at the root. Notre Dame did not deserve to win that game...hence still only won by a touchdown despite Michigan's 6 turnovers. How do you let a coach who encourages murder beat you? .
College Football List of 13: Wrapping up an active sports Saturday.........
13) Florida State looked really, really good in ringing up 667 yards on a good Clemson team, pulling away to beat the Tigers 49-37. Clemson led by 10 points in the second half before the Seminoles got hot.
12) Central Michigan scored 9 points in game's last 0:45 as Chippewas went to Iowa City and stunned a lackluster Hawkeye squad, 32-31.
Somewhere, Central Michigan alum Dick Enberg is smiling.
11) When was last time Northwestern/Minnesota were both 4-0?
10) Oregon State won at UCLA, then the whole team went to In 'n Out Burger before heading back to Corvallis. Beavers deserve to be ranked this week, starting season off by beating Wisconsin/UCLA.
9) Army scored 40-37 points the last two weeks, but somehow lost both games- they lost 49-37 at Wake Forest, in game where total yardage was in favor of the Deacons, but not by much (517-506).
8) 84,923 suckers paid to see Nebraska lay waste to Idaho State, 73-7; do they charge as much for that game as they do for their conference games? It is embarrassing that teams like Nebraska play I-AA teams, and in no way are they only ones. Florida State played two of those stiffs this month.
7) So Duke plays Memphis in football; why not play them in basketball, too? Oh thats right, Memphis could beat them in basketball. Memphis is awful in football, and has been since they fired Tommy West.
6) Good comeback by Colorado, 69-14 losers at Fresno State last week; they were down 31-14 in 4th quarter at Washington State yesterday, before a late rally gave the Buffs a wild 35-34 win in Pullman.
5) Rutgers already has three road wins; by the way, interesting story this week about how awful lot of NFL types despise Bucs' coach Greg Schiano, for his poor treatment of NFL scouts while he was coaching Rutgers. Will be interesting to see how the Bucs going forward from here.
4) Miami Hurricanes were 31-52/436 passing, rang up 609 total yards in a 42-36 OT win at Georgia Tech, a game Tech once led 36-19, after Miami had raced to a 19-0 lead. Not often you score 36 points in a row and lose.
3) The wheels have completely fallen off at Arkansas, which lost 35-26 at home to Rutgers. Game opened as a pick 'em in Vegas last Sunday, but so much action came in on Arkansas that it was taken off board and re-posted at Hogs -7. 72,543 Arkansas fans went home very unhappy.
2) Fresno State scored two defensive TDs at Tulsa, but missed the PAT after both TDs, and wound up losing 27-26 to Golden Hurricane. Looks as if Fresno State has an improved team.
1) Congrats to the Reds/Giants, who clinched their divisions in baseball last night; 11 days to go in the season, still much to be decided. Best wishes to Cincy manager Dusty Baker-- get well soon.
12) On June 1st, the A’s and Astros were both 22-30; Houston now has 105 losses, while my A’s desperately try to hold on to the last Wild Card spot in the AL, in what has been the most unlikely and inspirational season in my 44 years of rooting for the green-and-gold.
Problem is, our leadoff hitter has pink eye, our best pitcher a fractured skull, and the team we play most of the rest of our games against, Texas, spent $100M on one player (Yu Darvish). The A’s entire payroll is $55M. For the whole team.
11) With rosters expanded this month, Rangers have 18 pitchers on their roster; in the playoffs, they’ll only have 12 or 13. Would September be a lot different if teams couldn't expand rosters on September 1st?
10) Why is BYU an independent in football? Other than keeping all their bowl revenue in event they hit it big in the BCS, how does it help them?
9) Anytime ESPN.com’s baseball writer Buster Olney gets stuck for a story, he resorts to his old template: Who will “best pitcher” on “small market team” be traded to? This time it was David Price; in past, its been Zito-Hudson-Mulder-Haren-Felix Hernandez-Lee-Beckett. Some get traded, some don’t. As a fan of a small market team, it has gotten very old.
8) I don’t give rat’s ass about the Ryder Cup; does anyone, other than the golfers involved? I’m guessing Eldrick Woods isn’t too fired up, other than fact that his sponsors are probably into it.
7) Greedy bastard update: Gas went down 6 cents a gallon here over the weekend, down to a hefty $4.10 a gallon. Forgot to ask the guy at the counter if employees get a discount from their greedy bastard bosses when they fill up. I'm guessing they do not.
6) A's set a record for strikeouts Wednesday night, which means very little; every team makes at least 24 outs a game, most make 27. As long as teams hit in clutch, run bases well and have certain amount of power, what is the difference how they make their 24 or 27 outs a game?
5) As part of its deal with the ACC, Notre Dame will play five football games a year vs ACC opponents; they already play BC every year, so to clear room for the other four games, Fighting Irish have ended their series with Michigan, starting in 2015. Can't wait for those thrilling games with the Fighting Irish against Syracuse and Duke. Outstanding.
4) If you owned a major league baseball franchise, would you give Josh Hamilton a guaranteed deal worth over $100M? With his history, not even sure I want him on my fantasy team. This is only second time he's played in more than 133 games, but he does put up big numbers.
3) 70% of the legal betting action in Nevada Monday night was on the Packers, so when Green Bay won the game, Nevada sportsbooks cleaned house, since Monday night games are the heaviest bet games of the week. I’m not inferring anything there, just reporting a fact.
2) At the start of this baseball season, my son had four Miami Marlins on his fantasy team; told someone its important for his team that the Marlins have a good year—well, didn’t work out that way. At this point, if no one kills anyone else, their season will be a minor success.
What a dysfunctional group they put together. The team president is the owner’s stepson, so he’s probably the only person we know will be back in 2013. As bad as his fantasy team turned out to be this year, they were a lot better than these Marlins.
1) There's been so much action this month, no way wonder the month has flown by: A’s in their first pennant race in six years, Lions have been underperforming, all the football handicapping, keeping up with all the baseball, and USC losing to Stanford once again.
A's have a 2-game lead with a week to go; got to hang on!!!!
Friday's List of 13: Things I'm looking for this weekend........
13) Hey, the regular refs are back; good for the NFL and good for the refs. Common sense finally prevails. Now the refs need to snap into mid-season form without any preseason activity. Most anything will be better than what we just had.
12) Oregon State is 2-0, beating Wisconsin/UCLA; now they’re a 2-point dog at Arizona, which just lost 49-0 at Oregon. Interesting game for Mike Riley’s Beavers, who went to In ‘n Out Burger as a team after beating the Bruins in Westwood last week.
11) A’s come home after surviving an epic 10-game road swing; they host the Mariners, and miss King Felix/Iwakuma. Meanwhile the Angels are in Texas, the Rays are in Chicago and Baltimore will be hosting the Red Sox, who bagged this season a long time ago. Going to be an interesting finish.
10) Raider coach Dennis Allen was Denver’s DC LY, when the Broncos weren’t quite as well-stocked at QB as they are now, but Oakland has won its last four visits to Denver. Fascinating game out west.
9) Total in Baylor-West Virginia game is 81.5, but its supposed to rain in the east all weekend. Without knowing for sure, I’m guessing the Waco-to-Morgantown road trip isn’t a lot of fun.
8) Will Miguel Cabrera win the Triple Crown? No one has done it since Carl Yaztrzemski in 1967, and he was also in a pennant race.
7) Huge trap game for Seahawks, who got handed a win by replacement refs on their way out the door Monday night; now they visit a gritty but offensive-challenged Rams squad that will spring the upset if they can keep Sam Bradford upright better than the Packers did for Aaron Rodgers.
6) When the Penn State/NCAA debacle broke out, Illinois sent its whole coaching staff to State College, to try and poach Nittany Lion players who wanted to jump ship- they got one kid. Am guessing their legal but overly enthusiastic recruiting didn’t go over too well with the PSU coaches. The post-game handshake Saturday could be interesting.
5) I feel bad the NHL won’t be starting on time; I enjoy hockey and there are regular folks (vendors, ticket takers, etc) who need the work to support their families. Hopefully, they won’t stay dark the entire season.
4) Eagles turned ball over 12 times already, now they play Giants/ Steelers next two weeks, as you hear rumblings that young Nick Foles could be under center soon in Philly. The Sunday night game will be interesting.
3) Minnesota/Northwestern are both 4-0; Gophers are a 7-point dog at struggling Iowa. Can Minnesota keep its Cinderella season going?
2) Buccaneers fired Raheem Morris after last season, but he’s back in Tampa this week, coaching the Redskins’ secondary. Washington is a fun team with RGIII at QB, but they’re still just 1-2. This is a game they should win.
1) How will Packers bounce back on a short week, after getting screwed Monday night? 0-3 Saints come to town with no head coach and one of the worst defenses in modern history. Bet the regular refs get a warm welcome at Lambeau.
Hawai'i coach Chow was longtime aide at BYU, developing their rep as a quarterback factory; now he's in his first year as HC, but Warriors lost 12 starters from LY, have been outscored 118-34 in two games vs I-A opponents-- kid on Nevada had seven rushing TDs against them a week ago. Hawai'i is 8-8 as road underdogs last 5+ years- they lost 41-20 (+8) to BYU LY, giving up 530 TY. Cougars lost bizarre 7-6 game at Boise last week, when Mendenhall went for 2-point conversion with 3:30 left even though Boise's kicker was awful-- BYU would've had edge in OT. Cougars are 8-4 in last dozen games as home favorites- they've got little bit of a QB controversy going on. MWC road underdogs are 12-3.
Entire Illinois coaching staff was in Happy Valley trying to poach PSU players when NCAA sanctions came down (it was legal, just they were only ones to be so blatant about it)- they got one kid. Illinois gave up 45-52 points in losing last two games vs I-A teams, which is probably why they were trying to improve talent base quickly. Penn State beat Navy/ Temple last two games, after losing 17-16 at Virginia in only away game so far (outgained Cavs 330-295). Underdog covered five of last six series games, with Illini winning three of last five. Losing 52-24 at home to an improved (but still......) Louisiana Tech squad is red flag for Illini.
Iowa lost 32-31 at home to Central Michigan last week, giving up nine points in last 0:45; they're 10-12 SU in last 22 games- their three games this year vs I-A opponents were decided by total of six points. Gophers beat Iowa last two years, after losing eight of previous nine meetings-- both of those games were at home. Gophers lost their last five visits to Iowa City, with four of five losses by 12+ points (covered one of five). Minnesota is 4-0, with all three I-A wins by 7 or less points, and they used backup QB last two games- this would be only his second start on foreign soil. This is a big game for the Iowa coaching staff.
Maybe Derek Dooley should've stayed at Louisiana Tech; Bulldogs are 3-0, scoring 56-56-52 points vs pair of C-USA teams and Illinois. Dykes is 11-0 vs spread on road as HC-- Tech covered 10 of its last 11 games overall. QB Cameron is completing 69% of passes. Virginia gave up total of 1,032 yards in losing last two games (Ga Tech/TCU) after winning by point over Penn State in last home game. Cavaliers are 5-8-2 vs spread in last 15 home games. Fact of matter is that Tech ha the better QB here, and that gives them an obvious edge. WAC teams are 6-4 vs spread in non-league road games; ACC home squads are 5-4.
Oklahoma State beat Texas last two years, after losing previous 12 tilts to Longhorns, who've won last six visits to Stillwater (4-1-1 vs spread). Hard to gauge Cowboys, who lost 59-38 at Arizona (which lost 49-0 at Oregon last week) then crushed ULL last week- they gained 1,378 yards in those games, but are stepping way up in class here. Texas has scored 49.3 ppg vs suspect cast of opponents, but they crushed an SEC team on road last game (OK, it was Ole Miss, but still....). Both sides had bye last week to sharpen up. Over last 4+ seasons, Cowboys are 0-3 against spread as a home underdog.
First Big 12 game for West Virginia, which allowed 718 passing yards in I-A wins over Marshall (69-34), Maryland (31-21); Mountaineers have covered only five of last 19 conference home games, but Baylor is 1-4 in last five games as road underdog, and Waco-Morgantown commute can't be easy. Bears outlasted ULM 47-42 in Monroe last week, giving up 262 rushing yards, 298 thru air. Both teams run same offense; check weather before investing in total- rain expected in east this weekend. Hard to tell lot about either team, since this will be toughest opponent for both sides. Both teams have good QB, if weather is good, figures to be wild game.
First road game for Ohio State squad that struggled at home to beat Cal, UAB last two weeks; Blazers blocked punt for TD last week. Buckeyes won six of last seven visits to East Lansing, winning last three by average score of 38-11, but those games were while ago-- Buckeyes lost 10-7 to Michigan State LY and teams didn't play in '09-'10. Spartans struggled with lowly Eastern Michigan LW- they haven't scored a first half TD in either of last two games, but they're allowing only 70 rushing yards per game. OSU allowed 915 TY last two weeks; they're not as good as 4-0 record indicates.
Georgia has 633 rushing yards, 648 passing yards in last two games; this is best team they've had in while, already routing Mizzou/Vandy in SEC play. Dawgs beat Tennessee last two years, 20-12/41-14 in series where favorites are 9-5 vs spread last 14 meetings, with home side covering 4 of last 5. Vols were tied at half with Akron last week, not good sign; they're 2-4 as road dogs under Dooley, but Georgia has South Carolina game up next, and thats a bigger game at this point. Dawgs are 9-5 vs spread last 14 games as HFs- they won SEC games this month 41-20/48-3. Wasn't impressed by way Tennessee folded tents late against Florida.
Home team covered 11 of last 14 Arizona State-Cal tilts, with ASU 0-5 vs spread in last five visits here, losing last four by 10+ points. Cal won last four series games overall, scoring 50-47 points last two years. ASU has been terrific at home, beating Illinois/Utah by 31-30 points, but they lost 24-20 in only road game, at Missouri. Cal i 0-3 vs D-I teams, losing at home to Nevada, but they also lost just 35-28 at Ohio St, and lost at 27-9, respectable games (outgained OSU by 100 yards). Bears are 17-4 as a home favorite since '08. ASU is 5-3-1 in last nine game as road dogs. Cal's only win this season is over I-AA Southern Utah.
Oregon State off to unusually fast start, beating Wisconsin/UCLA; they won 11 of last 13 games with Arizona, winning five of last six visits to Tucson, winning last two by 2 points each. Underdog has won SU in last four series games. Since '08, Beavers are 12-6 as road underdogs. Arizona lost 49-0 at Oregon last week; when they beat Oklahoma State 59-38 in their best game so far, Wildcats gave up 636 TY. This is Oregon State's third game of year; fifth game for Arizona, which is 12-8 as a home fave the last 4+ years. Arizona is still learning RichRod's system; Riley was a pro (NFL-CFL-USFL) coach, so edge to Oregon State there.
Since '09, Central Florida is 12-6 vs spread as home faves; they're 20-11 vs spread in their new stadium; always big deal for C-USA clubs when a BCS school visits. Missouri lost its first two SEC games by 21 points each; SEC teams are just 10-18 vs spread out of conference this year, 0-3 as an underdog; C-USA teams are 11-20, 2-4 as favorites. Mizzou failed to cover last three tries as road underdogs; favorites are 14-8 vs spread in their last 22 away games. UCF was outgained 411-352 in their only loss, at Ohio State; Knights had last week off after beating FIU- they were up 35-0/23-0 at halftime in their two wins.
Miami allowed 40 ppg in winning two of three road games vs I-A foes; they were up 19-0 last week, then allowed 36 straight points to Georgia Tech, before rallying to win weird game in OT. Miami allowed 808 yards on ground in last three games, including 233 to I-AA Bethune-Cookman, so they're hurting severely on defense. Teams are meeting for first time since '08. Wolfpack got whacked by Tennessee on neutral field, then beat UConn 10-7, before beating couple of stiffs last two weeks. Senior QB Glennon is completing 63% of passes. Miami goes to Notre Dame next week, Wolfpack plays Florida State, but this game is just as big.
Nebraska (+10) went to Madison and got crushed 48-17 in its Big Dozen debut last season, with Russell Wilson-led Badgers having great balance, gaining 231 rushing yards, 255 passing. Wilson is in Seattle now, and the Badgers are struggling with several new assistant coaches, with wins over Northern Iowa (26-21), Utah State (16-14), UTEP (37-26) unimpressive at best. Cornhuskers put up huge numbers running ball so far, but lost to only decent team they played (UCLA 36-30) with Bruins running ball for 344 yards, passing for 309. Nebraska is 13-16 as home favorite with Pelini, but 2-0 this year, beating UM 49-20, Arkansas State 42-13.
San Diego State (-8) beat Fresno State 35-28 in season finale LY, after falling behind 21-0 early on; this is conference game now, with Bulldogs joining MWC. Fresno scored two defensive TDs in 27-26 loss last week at Tulsa, but missed PATs after both scores, which made the difference. Aztecs lost 38-34 at home to San Jose State; maybe more alarming was game week before, when they beat I-AA North Dakota 49-41, Fighting Sioux were 27-50/434 passing. Figures that Fresno should be able to hang up big numbers vs same defense. Home favorites are 14-14 vs spread in conference play nation-wide, so far this season.
-- Cincinnati covered once in last six games as road underdog.
-- Clemson is 3-6 vs spread in game following last nine losses.
-- Ohio U covered nine of last 13 conference road games.
-- Idaho covered 13 of last 19 non-conference games.
-- Boise State covered 15 of last 21 as a road favorite.
-- Wake Forest covered eight of last 12 as a home favorite.
-- Air Force covered twice in last 13 games as a home favorite.
-- Home side covered five of last six Northern Illinois-Central Michigan tilts. Chippewas are off their upset of Iowa last week.
-- UCLA covered only seven of last 22 Pac-12 road games.
-- Alabama won eight in row vs Ole Miss, but Rebels covered five of the eight games.
-- Dysfunctional Arkansas covered last six games vs Texas A&M.
-- Underdog covered seven of last nine Indiana-Northwestern games.
Saturday's Lucky 11: Random stuff with the weekend here.....
11) NFL TV analysts have become suck-ups; I don’t care, Joe Flacco is not yet an elite QB, if elite still means what I think it means. Elite would be top 5: is Flacco better than Brady-Brees-Rodgers or either Manning brother? Roethlisberger? Matt Ryan? Rivers? Didn’t think so.
10) We all complain about TV announcers, but Mike Tirico does football-basketball-golf and is really good at all three, probably better than Jim Nantz at all but golf.
9) If you’re on Twitter and you want to laugh a few times a day, follow pro wrestler Al Snow (@therealAlSnow). The man is clever.
8) Good news from the NBA: referee Greg Willard, who was diagnosed with cancer last June, plans to work this season. We need all the good news we can get.
7) If you like to gamble and lets face it, who doesn’t, West Virginia QB Geno Smith is a 24.5-yard favorite over Baylor QB Nick Florence in passing yardage for this week’s game in Morgantown.
6) 62% of bettors took the American side in the Ryder Cup, even though the Europeans usually win. Those who don’t study history are doomed to repeat it. Americans do lead 5-3 after the first day.
5) Are individual players’ records in the Ryder Cup random or meaningful? If they’re meaningful, why is Jim Furyk (8-15-4 career in Ryder Cup) on the team? The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result.
4) 7-11 stores gave away coffee for four hours Friday morning, which would’ve been better for me, if I actually drank coffee. I basically am a espresso, cappaccino guy with an occasional cup of coffee when all else fails.
3) NFL players can get fined serious money for wearing unlicensed gear to press conferences. Tom Brady has been covering up the Nike swoosh on his workout gear with tape during meetings with the press. Brady has a deal with Under Armour.
2) Friend of mine tweeted a Ryder Cup question to Alan Shipnuck of Sports Illustrated Thursday: “Do Ryder Cuppers ever request not to be paired with a certain player?”
His reply: “Hell to the yes. No one wanted Wetterich.” There you go. Wonder why no one likes Brett Wetterich?
1) Two weeks until college basketball practice starts. Calendar year seems to be condensing, college hoop starting nine days after baseball ends.
Big week here next week, with A's trying to make the playoffs and then packing my bags as BTB and Spooky Express head to Punta Cana in the D.R. and stay at the Hard Rock Hotel.