coverit Posts:996 Followers:3
On 09/14/2012 10:05 AM in General

Thursday Joke, Vegas style!

I'm out the next four days, in Vegas for a bachelor party! Will try to post when I can, but c'mon, VEGAS! Best of luck to all this weekend.

A guy is walking along the strip in Las Vegas and a knockout looking hooker catches his eye. He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the hooker, "How much do you charge?"

Hooker replies, "It starts at $500 for a handjob."

Guy says, "$500 dollars?! For a handjob?! No handjob is worth that kind of money!"

The hooker says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes."

"Well," says the hooker, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And, I own them because I give a handjob that's worth $500."

The guy thinks to himself, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try." and accepts the hooker's offer.

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he just experienced the handjob of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500. He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blowjob is $1,000?"

The hooker replies, "$1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blowjob!"

The hooker replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blowjob that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific handjob, decides to put off the new car for another year or so, and says, "Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before. He can scarcely believe it, but he feels he truly got his money's worth. He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience. He asks the hooker, "How much for some pussy?"

The hooker says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something. Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us, all those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and showplaces?"

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?"

"No," the hooker replies. "But I would if I had a pussy."

I must be gettin' old... I still think baseball is cool.

finance Posts:8476 Followers:224
09/14/2012 10:41 AM

Gaaahhhh!!! Didn't see that coming at all!! Now I have the shivers....Ugh!!

Seriously hope you have a great time....what could be better than a bachelor party in Vegas???

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thehitman Posts:2319 Followers:5
09/14/2012 06:29 PM

Hilarious, didn't see it coming either. GL in Vegas.

Never, ever criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes........for at that point they will be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes !