YES! Real football is back! Oh how sweet this is. Now I guess who better than to lead off the Worst of than......
Spooky - How can I top this opening week of picks. Lots of excuses but I think a one armed paper hanger can do a better job hanging paper than I could of done with my picks. I will guarantee this. And will risk $1,000,000 on this to back up my talk.
Next week will be better than this week. Guaranteed!
Andrew Luck - That was a pretty disappointing debut for the chosen one. Granted, the Bears have a legit defense but I wasn't expecting as many poor decisions as he had. He'll be fine and all that, but he is not Bobby Griff.
Matt Forte fantasy owners - Expect to see way more Michael Bush touchdown vulturing. Running backs are a crap shoot.
Mike Vick and Shady McCoy - Not good. These are the Eagles that I know and hate. Way to completely ignore your best offensive weapon in lieu of more garbage Vick passes.
Brandon Weeden - Another rookie QB with an underwhelming debut. He's still better than Colt McCoy.
The Lions - I'll take the win, for sure, but how in the hell do you need a last second TD to beat the fucking Rams at home? Pathetic. Fat Stafford's celebratory sprinting was the LOL moment of the week.
Jake Locker - Dude, take a lesson from Denard, when you throw a pick, let someone else make the tackle.
Falcons doubters - Well, after week one, ATL and that passing game appear to be unstoppable. Matty Ice was everything that we thought he could be yesterday. Nice start to the fightin' MUDawgs.
Jags/Vikings - This game should not have been televised. I will say that Vikings K Blair Walsh should be a member of DFL champion franchise, Blair White Power.
The Bills - Poor commenter Dan. So many people picked Buffalo to turn the corner this year and that all ended yesterday when Fred Jackson's leg died on the field and they gave up half a hundred to Mark Sanchez. On a positive note, CJ Spiller is leading the NFL in rushing! The pick six that Fitzpatrick threw to Cromartie was the worst pass thrown this week. At least he leads the league in something.
Ryan Tannehill - All you need to know about the team who will be drafting first next April is that Tannehill threw a 3 yard pass on 4th and 8. These guys suck.
Drew Brees - For a team that was apparently so U MAD BRO at Goodell, they sure didn't play like they had anything to prove yesterday. The Skins defense looked really good except for that awful blocked punt and then in garbage time. They were all over the field. It was incredible. I haven't seen their defense play like that since #21 was still OWNING the league.
RG3 H8RZ - OK, everyone, time to bow down. Do you know how many home games the Saints lost last year? The answer is "one less than they have already this year". That was incredible. They have been irrelevant for so fucking long (especially offensively) and now, the Redskins are fun to watch. Alfred "ALF-MO" Morris appears to be a great find by Shanny. I'm a little skeptical only because we play the Rams next week. The old Skins would lose to them by double digits. We shall see.
The replacement refs - They were fine early but they were the scabbiest of butt scabs late. Let's just ignore blocks in the back and cause Harbaugh's head to explode! Seattle wants a FOURF timeout? FUCK YEAH! Bring back Booger.
Cam Juice - This beverage apparently can not be consumed in less than ideal weather.
Ryan Clark - I hope that the Steelers play in Denver every year. I will never stop laughing at his lupus face.
The Packers - Still can't play defense and still can't run the ball. Nothing has changed at all. Oh sure, they'll still score a ton and win a lot of games, but they aren't a legit SB contender. I said it. You know it's true.
Randy Moss - Our last submission today because he is the one that I was most disappointed with. Sure, he scored and all to show that he's back but whatever. He was back in Green Bay...with Joe Buck on the call...WHERE WAS THE POOPING MIME! The all-time greatest touchdown celebration should have been replicated! You failed America, Randy Moss.
For everyone that gave me a thumbs down on the forum. Revenge is mine. Enjoy Chris fucking Berman doing play by play for game 2 tonight. God help us all.
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