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SPOOKY'S LIONS ARE HEADED TO THE PLAYOFFS NEW YEARS NFL EXPRESS
-- Why does TV show us celebrities during NBA games? Who cares? All of us know John McEnroe and Spike Lee are really rich. Terrific.
-- Bulls missed 17 of first 18 shots in 4th quarter, still rallied to beat the Lakers at Staples Center, 88-87. Lakers will miss Lamar Odom.
-- Speaking of Odom, he got tossed from his first game with Dallas in third quarter with 5:05 left. Not the greatest of beginnings.
-- Clippers outscored Golden State 64-43 in second half, ruining Mark Jackson's coaching debut with the Warriors, 105-86. As long as Paul and Griffin stay healthy, Clippers are going to be very good.
-- Rodgers was sharp in Green Bay's 35-21 win over the fading Bears, who at least got better QB play from McCown than they head been getting from Hanie, the other backup. Fifth straight loss for Chicago.
-- Kansas State methodically dismantled Long Beach State 77-60 to win the Diamond Head tourney in Hawai'i. K-State is physically tough.
Monday's List of 13: Things to look for in 2012.........
13) If Eldrick Woods ever dated Kim Kardashian, entire Internet would explode somewhere over Saskatchewan and all of North America would be littered with debris from millions of words colliding in cyberspace. This needs to happen, maybe in late May or June, just to liven things up a bit. They could be married and divorced before football season starts.
12) If Colts lose in Jacksonville Sunday, will they give Peyton Manning his $28M roster bonus in March, or will they give him his walking papers and move ahead with Andrew Luck as their QB of the future? Manning is the best Colts’ QB since Johnny Unitas, but even Johnny U finished his career as a Charger.
11) Milwaukee Brewers drew 3,071,373 fans to Miller Park LY, third time in four years they’ve top 3M fans; they’ve already sold 1M+ tickets for 2012, first time they’ve topped the million mark before Christmas. But how many tickets will they sell during the season next year with Prince Fielder likely gone and Ryan Braun done for the first 50 games? Hard to believe they’ll have a very good team.
10) The NBA season is going to be interesting, because the short training camp makes the season a work in progress for all 30 teams. Its going to take time for some teams to develop teamwork/chemistry but with so many games in a shorter period, some teams will get buried early on.
9) So Urban Meyer quit the Florida Gators to spend more time with his family, then signed on with Ohio State less than a year later? Does this mean his family doesn’t like hanging out with him?
8) VCU making the Final Four last spring quieted any objections people had about teams #61-68 playing an extra game in the NCAA basketball tournament; will anyone make a similar run this spring? I’m thinking we’re understating what a terrific accomplishment that was.
7) Will the St Louis Rams make any coaching changes? You can make the (shaky) argument that because of last spring’s lockout, teams didn’t get a chance to fully implement their plans for this year (of course, Carolina has been improved with rookie coach/rookie QB).
6) How many NBA players will play in all 66 of their team’s games? By the way, if Grant Hill makes it through another season healthy, the Miami Marlins have to pay big money to steal away Suns’ trainers and assign them to Jose Reyes’ hamstrings. And you think I’m kidding.
5) Pardon me for babbling out loud here, but who the hell is going to play 1B for my fantasy team until Ryan Howard's achilles tendon heals? It'd be nice if someone other than Seattle signed Prince Fielder, so Mike Carp would be guaranteed a spot in the lineup every day.
4) I’d like to see the NCAA simplify their rule book in 2012 and only worry about serious offenses, not ticky-tack stuff about hosting recruits at the coach’s house and stuff like that. Bruce Pearl got fired for lying to the NCAA about some stupid rule that shouldn’t even be a rule. I know lying isn’t good, but come on, think about things that have come to light since Pearl got fired. He looks like a freakin’ saint, by comparison.
3) Someone is going to be really smart and buy the Dodgers; following Frank McCourt as owner is as easy a duty as following Mike Singletary as coach of the 49ers—its always good to follow an incompetent.
2) Coolest Christmas present I've seen this year: guy I know was given an authentic Shane Falco #16 Washington Sentinel jersey, like the one Keanu Reeves wore in The Replacements. Excellent. Not sure where they got it.
1) I hope all of you have a happy and healthy 2012; none of us are guaranteed anything in this life, so we need to make the most of the time we have. Make this year your best one yet!!!!
LIONS ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS! NUFF SAID.
Happy Holidays everyone!
Anyway, on to week 16's doo doo:
Tim Tenor - The Lord works in mysterious ways. How doth he explain Tenor's skidmark performance in Buffalo the day before Christ's birth? All of those people that think religion is a sham can point to this as proof.
Early Doucet - You know good goddamn well that blacktard Cris Carter will pick Doucet's game-losing, wide open touchdown fall down as his "Come On, Man" tonight. CC needs to die. And I really hope that the Bengals lose on Sunday because I want to see me some RAIDERS in the playoffs.
The Patriots - It's really starting to piss me off that they let Tom Brady rush so many fucking one yard touchdowns. That is why you have goddamn running backs. I hope that Brady breaks his hairpiece on an unnecessary sneak. And who falls behind 17-0 to the Dolphins at home? I'm telling you, don't fall for these guys. They will not win a playoff game.
Rex Ryan - I love Rex Ryan. He's a loudmouth blob with a weirdo foot fetish. His schtick is great when the Jets are winning. But now, eh, it's getting lame. I hate Brandon Jacobs but he was totes right...It's time to shut up, fat boy.
Mark Sanchez - His days are numbered. There is no fucking way that the Jets can give him an extension after his contract runs out after next season.
Phil Taylor - Classic Browns right there. Granted, they would not have won the game anyway, but at least they would have had the chance. By the way, Baltimore is garbage. Do you remember what I said about Sanchise four lines ago? The same thing applies to Joe Flacco. If for some reason the Colts put Peyton Manning on the trade block, I guarantee you that the Jets and Ravens make an offer.
People that think that A-Rodgers is the MVP - IT SHOULD GO TO DAVID AKERS! David Akers SICK! He averages THREE made field goals per game. I would bet that the Niners are a 5 win team without Akers.
Tony Romo - What a pussy. It was nice to see the Cowboys roll over and die since it didn't really mean anything to them to beat their rival. Way to quit on your fans! Anyone foolish enough to bet on Dallas to win in NJ next Sunday night is too dumb to have any money in the first place. The Giants are a fucking LOCK.
Was that the Redskins? - The same team that swept the Giants just got titty-fucked by Toby Gerhart and Joe Webb. They end Adrian Peterson's life and Ponder's season yet get steamrolled by their backups? I chalk that one up to the heartbreaking decision by Matt "Boner King" Barkley.
Fuck. I probably wrote too much considering I've got to be the only asshole working today and the internet will be slowed way down. Stupid fucking me. Correction---stupid fucking LIONS AND SPOOKY GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS me. That sounds way better.
Lets put it this way on the g-men situation. If we can get the Saints home tonight, Lions can beat Green Bay on Sunday then Giants beat the Cowboys. My Lions visit the Meadowlands in the first round. And that means Spooky is flying back home to Jersey to take some names and kick some ass. So all my Spooky friends in Jerzey. Be scared, very scared.
-- Missouri scored first five times they had the ball, waxed disinterested North Carolina 41-24 at a rainy Independence Bowl in Shreveport.
-- Good thing, because Mizzou's mascot, Truman the Tiger, broke the Independence Bowl's glass trophy screwing around earlier in the day.
-- Mavericks were down 21 at half Sunday; 27 at half last night, as the defending champs just aren't the same team. Rough way to start.
-- After two days, Oklahoma City is the league's only 2-0 team.
-- NBA teams who played Christmas Day were 1-3 vs spread Monday if they played against a team playing its season opener. We're going to pay lot of attention to these back-to-back scenarios.
-- Clemson is projected to lose $185,000 on Orange Bowl; schools have to buy tickets to BCS bowls, whether their fans buy them or not. With Orange Bowl on a Wednesday night, not many fans are buying tickets.
Tuesday's List of 13........Our top 8, bottom 5 in NFL.........
32) Rams— 10-37 under Spagnuolo, 15-64 last five years; they're 0-12-1 vs spread in their losses this year, but the weird thing is, I think there is better talent there now-- they beat the Saints by 10 points, no?
31) Buccaneers— At least the Rams try; Bucs stopped weeks ago.
30) Colts— Shouldn't Jim Irsay order Caldwell to lose this game? Bench Orlovsky, make them go for it on every 4th down. What good does it do the Colt franchise to win this week?
29) Browns-- How were they favored six times this season?
28) Vikings— Is Joe Webb their QB of the future? Hard to believe that just two years ago, they were this close to being in the Super Bowl.
8) Lions-- Say what you will about their being a dirty team, but football is still a violent game, and Detroit doesn't get pushed around anymore. Roar!!!
7) Falcons— No shortage of motivation if they return to Superdome for first playoff game; they're more likely to visit NFC East winner but I hope they visit Saints and I go to New Jersey to see the Lions.
6) Steelers— NFL trainers earn whatever money they make, no? I mean, how much is it worth for the franchise to get Big Ben's ankle healthy?
5) 49ers— +25 turnover ratio. Tremendous season. Still think they're going down in their first playoff game.
4) Ravens— Have been in seven playoff games under Harbaugh, all on the road; win at Cincinnati Sunday, and they get a home playoff game.
3) Patriots— Need win Sunday to clinch home field over the AFC North champ, or else I wouldn't let Brady put a uniform on Sunday.
2) Saints— Not sure why Brees had to set single season passing yardage record Monday; am guessing their rivals in Atlanta weren't too thrilled with Saints throwing ball in last 8:00 with 22-point lead.
1) Packers— Jordy Nelson was 36th player taken in 2008 NFL Draft out of Kansas State; those 2nd round picks that teams give up to move up in the draft- they can pay off bigtime.