You are using an old web browser. Such browsers do not support modern web technologies and do not offer proper security. Please update your browser or download one of the others suggested for free.
Mozilla Firefox |
Google Chrome |
Internet Explorer |
SPOOKY'S NFL CHRISTMAS AND HANUKKAH EXPRESS AND ARE THE LIGHTS STILL OUT IN FRISCO
Spooky's Worst Of Week Fifteen
What the fuck? How does a team roll through their season and then can't even beat the fucking Chiefs? Whether you like the Packers or not is irrelevant because the '72 Dolphins are popping the champagne again and that makes us all losers. LOSERS. Can you believe that the perfect season was ruined by Romeo Crennel and broken-fingered Kyle Orton Express? That's gay. Orton is an elite drunk as any Google image search will prove, but he shouldn't be beating anything but his whiskey dick. Stupid goddamn Mike McCarthy looking like an egg. They didn't even have any pressure to replicate McClure Pony League 1995 either since all of the spotlight is on Denver and their Jesusback. That was simply a choke. Thanks for nothing, Aaron Rodgers.
The NFL - Hey assholes, you only have to put each team on primetime once. There is ZERO demand for three Jaguars games at night. None.
Wild claims - Anyone mention this before, if not I want to hit it home: Maurice Jones-Drew is the best running back in the NFL. Period.
Raheem Morris - It must be nice to watch your team quit on you. It must be nice to keep your job because management doesn't see anyone fitting to be an interim coach.
Caleb Hanie - This guy is absolutely shitty. He is, without question, the worst quarterback in the league. The Bears are done.
Sam Hurd - This story just keeps getting more awesome. While the act of drug-dealing is shady as fuck, you've got to appreciate Hurd's desire to be the biggest drug dealer in all of Chicago. I hope that his blackbook gets released because I guarantee than Trent Williams and Fred Davis are in that bitch. Dude's going to spend the rest of his life in jail though. It was totes worth it, I bet.
Tennessee - Way to lose to the Colts. I'm sorry, that isn't fair. Way to get DESTROYED by the Colts.
Matthew Hasselbeck - I have no idea why this guy is still starting. He blows and Locker is better.
Jermichael Finley - CANNOT CATCH. At all. Finley might be the most overrated player in the NFL.
Rams and Vikings - Whatevs.
TJ Yates - Week fifteen was sort of the end of quite a few good runs like Eli looking elite, the Packers win streak, and Yates appearing to be a competent QB. After a team has clinched their division, it's almost a guarantee that they will get beat the next week. Shame on Texans fans for booing them though. Maybe they'd rather have those 7-9 teams back again?
Bills Defense - Bad day for upstate New York with the Bills defense letting Reggie fucking Bush drop 2 bills on them.
Lion/Raiders WTF!!! - That was a pretty incredible finish as Megatron finally came back from his 5 straight weeks of shittiness. In the 3rd quarter, I was thinking to myself that the Lions have no identity anymore on offense. Then Chins went buck wild on that Raiders defense and that is the kind of win that gets a team's mojo back. God is great!
Rex Ryan's defense - The fuck was that?
At least I'm on my way to the NFL Playoffs for the first time in a millenium with the Lions. So fucking deal with it.
Tuesday's List of 13........Our top 8, bottom 5 in NFL.........
32) Colts—Should they bench Orlovsky, to make sure they don’t win another game and blow the #1 pick?
31) Rams—Finish with Steelers/49ers, which means yet another fun-filled 2-14 season. Terrific.
30) Vikings—These guys led first three games of season by double digits at halftime and they’re 2-12 while Tarvaris Jackson is making late run for playoffs. Someone has some ‘splainin’ to do.
29) Buccaneers—Trying to remember why they fired Jon Gruden.
28) Bills—Lost at home in December to team from Miami that just fired its coach. Their $60M QB didn’t get a football scholarship to college. Need I go on?
8) Texans—Hopefully Wade Phillips will get well soon. Would be nice if they get some injured players back for first playoff appearance.
7) Falcons—Thursday night game gives them 11 days to rest up for rivalry game Monday night in Superdome.
6) Steelers—Finish with Rams/Browns, now need help from an unlikely source to win division title.
5) 49ers—If Saints go to Candlestick January 21-22, who will be favored?
4) Ravens— John Harbaugh can thank his brother for being back in first.
3) Saints—On a serious roll now. Will be very tough out in January.
2) Patriots—Denver ran for over 250 yards against them; don’t trust defense against playoff-caliber offense.
1) Packers—Why was Aaron Rodgers smiling on sidelines at end of the game Sunday? Loss to Chiefs makes their lives a lot easier the next couple weeks. Think McCarthy not challenging that play was intentional?
-- Hawai'i hired 65-year old Norm Chow to his first head coaching job, which will be very interesting. Chow is a great offensive mind.
-- Marshall beat Florida International 20-10 in the Beef O'Brady Bowl; team with freshman QB beat the team with senior QB, so thats a little surprising. Marshall blocked a punt to set up the winning FG.
-- Top of Southern Conference is pretty good; Davidson beat Kansas in KC Monday, then Charleston lost 69-62 at Louisville last night, a game Cougars led with 3:30 to play. Two well-coached teams.
-- Butler is badly overscheduled; 5-7 Bulldogs lost 71-55 at Gonzaga and now they go to Stanford to lose again on Thursday. Oy.
-- New Jersey Devils have given up 10 shorthanded goals this season, most in the NHL. In only 33 games.
-- Georgia football coach Mark Richt paid staff out of his own pocket, which is a minor NCAA violation. Instead of patting the guy on his back for being a good person, he gets his wrist slapped. Outstanding.
Wednesday's List of 13: Nobody asked me, but........
13) Great win for LSU Monday night, beating Marquette 67-59 in game they trailed 13-0 early; it was first time the two teams met since the 1970 NIT, which was Pete Maravich’s last college game.
Trent Johnson is a good coach who won at Nevada/Stanford; it would be surprising if he doesn’t get the LSU program turned around.
12) Was surprised how wildly enthusiastic some of the Chiefs were after they beat Green Bay Sunday; if you didn’t know better, you’d swear they were trying harder for Romeo Crennel than they did for the departed Todd Haley. Now that wouldn’t be very professional of them, would it?
11) Divisional games in the NFL schedule: Week 15, only three. Week 16, 10 out of 16 games, then in Week 17, all 16 games are divisional rivalries.
Best reality TV ever would be to sit in on the meetings where they draw up next year's schedule over the winter.
10) At one point, I thought that if Mike Martz coached him, Chuckles the Clown could play QB and pass for 250 yards with two TDs, but Caleb Hanie disproved that theory. The Hanie era isn’t going to be remembered fondly in Chicago. Some Bear fans might prefer the clown play QB.
Bears’ passing yards the last three weeks: 88-86-89. All losses.
9) NFL needs to go back to the rule where they have the #3 emergency QB available to be put into games; otherwise, they’re going to wind up with a WR or TE playing QB in a playoff game- that makes the product look bad.
8) My father/cousin are both Giant football fans, and they both hate Troy Aikman as a game analyst, saying he roots against the Giants because of his Dallas playing roots. Myself, I like Aikman as an analyst, while I’m not thrilled with Joe Buck on football, but I do enjoy listening to Aikman. Funny how everyone has different preferences for announcers.
7) Raiders had 10+ accepted penalties in six of their last eight games.
6) Jason Kubel got $15M to play left field for two years in Arizona; Snakes must’ve made some money LY, trading for Trevor Cahill and now signing Kubel. Putting Kubel in LF hurts them defensively.
5) In their last three games, Seahawks outscored their opponents 65-17 in the second half. That’s a good sign. Seahawks have 119+ rushing yards in six of last seven games; I’m giving credit to OL coach/former Raider HC Tom Cable for improving their run game. Must be nice to root for a team with a good offensive line.
4) Over the last five games, three teams with worst 3rd down defenses: