32) Colts—Ironic that Colts will finish 0-16 the season they host the Super Bowl.
31) Rams—They’re 10-34 the last three years, 15-61 since start of ’07 season. But I’m not bitter or anything. Time to clean house, again.
30) Vikings—Before hiring a head coach, how about giving him a quiz to see if he understands the basics of clock management, stuff you don’t need to be a football coach to know, but STUFF YOU HAVE TO KNOW.
29) Browns—Let me see, the old Browns moved to Baltimore, became the Ravens and got really good; the old Browns’ coach before they moved was Belichick, whose done pretty well in Foxboro. Lets just move on.
28) Jaguars—New owner is the man who got rich after he invented the seamless bumper for cars. Interested to see who he hires as his new coach.
8) Broncos—Won six of last seven games; someone remind me why the Panthers let John Fox go.
7) Texans—TJ Yates is better than Leinart, so Houston actually gained on that exchange. Curious to see how much they expand his role each week.
6) Steelers—Big Ben had a spiffy fedora on in his post-game interview Sunday; how would history be different had the Giants not drafted Eli Manning and simply taken Big Ben?
5) 49ers—Miami Marlins gave Jose Reyes $106M for six years; they better hire a track coach to keep his hamstrings in one piece.
4) Ravens—Ex-Baltimore coach Brian Billick is very good on TV; explains the game in a non-technical way that’s easy to understand.
3) Saints—Before this season is over, Sean Payton is going to whack someone with one of those crutches.
2) Patriots—I think Belichick actually likes it when media nitwits keep saying the Patriots have the worst defense in the NFL (ranking is based on yards given up); that’s why he let Dan Orlovsky run amok in garbage time Sunday.
1) Packers—Ted Thompson doesn’t get enough credit for dumping Favre at just the right time. Took a lot of onions, and turned out to be brilliant.
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