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Spooky Halloween Dirty Dozen: Wrapping up an NFL Sunday......
12) Wow. Talk about something coming out of nowhere, the Rams clobber the Saints, not only their first win of season, their first cover of the year.
Saints were fourth NFL team in last 40 years to score 62+ points in game; three of those four teams lost their next game. Go figure.
11) Rams had 183 rushing yards, six sacks, scored TDs on all three trips inside the red zone. Not sure why the Broncos traded Brandon Lloyd, but he's made a huge difference in the Rams' passing game in a short time.
10) Arizona led 24-6 at the half in Baltimore, but their three TDs came on a 2-yard drive, a punt return TD and a 25-yard drive. Ravens had 405-207 edge in yardage, but 10 of their 13 drives started 80+ yards from paydirt. Cardinals' offense couldn't do much against the stout Baltimore defense.
9) There were 50 offensive TDs scored in 12 games Sunday; 14 of the 50 came on drives of less than 50 yards. Under was 8-4, as scoring is going to be down because of the new kickoff rule, which is hurting teams' average starting field position.
8) If Houston can get Andre Johnson healthy, they're going to be pretty freakin' good; Texans have lot of offensive weapons and a good QB, and it looks like they're going to make the playoffs for the first time this season.
7) Eagles scored on their first six possessions and just dismantled Dallas' defense; Andy Reid is now 13-0 in the first game after his bye week.
6) Carolina is the most fun team to watch, but Olindo Mare missed an easy (31-yard) field goal with 0:26 left, after a bogus holding call on Steve Smith deprived the Panthers of a first-and-goal on the Vikings' 2-yard line. Cam Newton is definitely Rookie of the Year; he might finish pretty high in the MVP voting, too.
5) Then there's the Seahawks, whose punt coverage team allowed Bengals a mere 39 yards per return Sunday; Pete Carroll butchered the end of the first half, costing Seattle an easy FG when he went for a TD instead. His team got within 17-12 in the third quarter; could've used that field goal. Carroll really traded a 3rd round pick for Charlie Whitehurst? He bolted USC because of their impending probation.
4) I agree with something I heard on ESPN last week; the starting QB of the Denver Broncos in 2012 isn't currently a Bronco. Tim Tebow is a lot like a QB the Bears had 40 years ago, a tough lefty named Bobby Douglass who could really run but couldn't hit sand with a throw if he was standing on a beach. You know John Elway has to cringe watching Tebow pass.
3) Redskins had 26 yards rushing, 178 total yards in a hideous shutout loss to the Bills in Toronto. Who is their quarterback of the future?
2) I think Tony Sparano is a pretty good coach, but he's toast in Miami, as most 0-7 coaches get fired anyway. Dolphins play hard, but they need a franchise quarterback. Their owner will go for a big name to sell tickets.
1) Steelers were very sharp, running 78 plays for 427 yards; Patriots ran only 50 plays for 213 yards- they couldn't Big Ben off the field. Pitt was 10-16 on third down, New England only 3-10. Big win for the Steelers.
Anyway, football yesterday was pretty terrible except for my Lions. The early games might have been the worst slate of matchups in NFL history (and somehow the late games were worse). Let's get to it.
Drew Brees and Company - The Saints seem to do something like this every year. They always lose to at least one really rotten team (last year was Cleveland). But the Rams are legitimately shit. That should not have happened.
Not Sam Bradford - That win probably keeps the Rams out of the Luck sweepstakes. That would have been an interesting dilemma actually. If the Rams get the #1 pick, do they dump Bradford already? I would. Tony LaRussa was wearing a Rams 14 jersey on the sidelines yesterday...awful. Speaking of the Series, that was some really entertaining baseball. I could watch Tony's flinch on the last out everyday. Hilarious reaction.
Chris Johnson - I think that we can officially write his 2011 season off now. If you can't break 40 yards against a team that just gave up 62 7 days earlier, you're terrible. And he is totally fucking over Matt Forte with his "holdout then shittiness".
Giants fans that participate in ESPN chats during games - These are always hilarious idiots. The frontpage of ESPN.com had stupid Giants fans posting stuff as soon as they beat a rotten Dolphins team by a FG like "Eli is a top 5 QB" and "See, Eli would not allow the Giants to lose!" Fans are 'tards.
Olindo Mare - Nice missed chip shot, whatever-your-race-is.
Terry Bradshaw - He ranked Andy Dalton ahead of Cam in his uber-scientific rookie QB rankings because of wins. Yes, TB would rather have Dalton over Cam. He is a child molester.
Kevin Kolb and Joe Flacco - Both of these guys suck. That is all.
Hines Ward - Yeah, buddy, you're not needed here anymore. Us "haterz" have been waiting for this day for years now but I think it's official...Hines Ward is completely worthless and makes the Steelers worse when he's on the field. They have 3 receivers and a TE all better than him.
Teams that lost late games - I don't want to get into these games because they were brutal. Simply put: The Browns suck, the Seahawks suck, and the Broncos really, really suck.
John Beck - He should just put LOL on the back of his jersey. God, the Redskins are awful. The Bills had 4 sacks in their first 6 games this year. They had EIGHT yesterday. Sorry, Matt Barkley, but you're about to get murdered behind that same line. The Redskins got SHUTOUT by the Bills. ZERO POINTS AGAINST THE BILLS DEFENSE. This performance pretty much defines yesterday's NFL action...awful.
In conclusion, let me give you a piece of advice. Whenever life gets you down, keep your chin up and remember that it could be worse. You could be selling your used sex toys on the internet.