Eminem will NEVER jinx his beloved Lions. Gotta love his interview from last week.
Spooky and Eminem
Oh yeah! We’re back to 20 plus straight weeks of “Worst Of” posts! Football season is so great. It really makes the Express NFL thread so easy. Now if we can just get that Marc Trestman/molestation story to break (AND IT WILL), we’ll be all set until Christmas. You know how this works by now. Games were played last weekend and we spend all week slamming the shittiest performances as well as bragging/lamenting about our fantasy teams. Spooky Express partnered up with the Diva of Fantasy Football, BOBALOU this year.
The Denver Saltines - We all saw how Eric Decker is awful but I want direct some venom at Wes Welker. Yeah, he scored twice and I get that but he had two terrible drops and muffed a punt inside the five. I guess what I'm pointing out here is that Welker is losing his touch a bit after leading the NFL in drops last season.
Stevan Ridley - Hey asshole, don't fumble the ball when you nobody touches you. Man, that is a killer when one of your studs gets benched due to one shitty play. Also, LOL Bills for choking away at that game. Anyone else want to challenge me that the Pats aren't that good?
Marvin Lewis - Yep, this is why the haters think that he sucks as a coach. You can't blow all three of your timeouts in the third quarter on the road against a good team. The entire AFC North lost this week and the Bengals were the only team to not get buttfucked. I still think that they are good because AJ Green is unstoppable.
Brandon Weeden - Watching my team play on NFL Package and when I finally turned to the Red Zone channel at 2 pm and Mr. Talent had already launched his third pick. Same old Browns. Apparently, preseason performance doesn't mean shit. Who'd a thunk it!
Mike Wallace - Fuck this guy so hard. You win a game and then you act all ass-y after the game because you only had one catch? Maybe you should learn another route other than "straight", jerk.
Megatron - Yo, bro, one of these days you are going to need to read the rulebook and understand what it takes to score a touchdown. You know I love this guy and he is da man. But Tron had two rescinded by inches and I want to believe that it was karma for doing those weird ads that make zero sense with P Diddy. Also from this game was another dirty hit by Suh (that was called correctly) that wiped away a pick six. Enough Already.
Pryor Haters! - TP looked damn good! ADMIT IT! The Raiders weren't nearly as shitty as we initially thought because TP can run around and avoid a hundred sacks per game. Go Pryor!
Matty Ice - This loser just can't punch it in when he gets inside the ten, can he? The Saints were statistically the worst defense in NFL history last season and the Falcons hung a mean 17 points on them. The Falcons are going to struggle this year.
Greg Schiano - We all hate the Jets but it was pretty amazing to watch the Jets outplay the Bucs through the final whistle. If I knew the name of the cat who chucked Geno out of bounds on that final drive, he would be a shoe-in for LVP of the Week. But I don't care. Josh Freeman is shit.
Darius Reynaud - Sunday got off to a great start with an opening kickoff safety which never happens but did this week because this guy is an idiot. Who would've guessed that Reynaud would have outscored the rest of the Steelers for 58 minutes!
Todd Haley - Your offense sucks, BRAH. Pittsburgh Kid may not like to admit it but Pittsburgh is in a world of hurt. Just as I thought they would be.
Cortland Finnegan - That Rams/Cards game was shockingly awesome. If you have watched the NFL at all, you know that Finnegan is an asshole and everything bad that happens to him is deserved and more. He was abused all day by LarryFitz. I enjoyed it greatly. Big props to blackest man in the NFL, Jared Cook, for having a monster game for Spooky and the Diva Bobalou's fantasy team.
Clay Matthews - He must be on another steroid cycle because he was being a giant douche out there yesterday. His late hit on CK was garbage and he threw a punch at a MAC titan. Weak! That was a damn fine game as well and it only led to a deeper love for Jimmy BRAH as going for it on 4th and 2 was absolutely the right call to make. Coaches with balls are way better than coaches with pussies.
And now we are left with Monday Night where Chippy starts his NFL coaching career against the future Super Bowl champions. Did you know that RG3 is back? Has everyone had enough of Chris Berman doing PBP on the Texans/Chargers. Wonderful. Let him stay in the studio or eat another donut somewhere. STFU Berman.
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