After my woeful failure at an anticipated sportsman's double on Tuesday nite, on Friday I decided to visit another bar:
Feeling my oats, I walked up to a sexy blonde and offered to buy her a drink. "No thanks", she said. "Alcohol is bad for my legs." "Gee" feeling sorry for her. "Do they swell?" I asked. "No, they spread" she replied.
Then this ugly bitch started chatting with me. "I'm an awesome mind-reader" she bragged. "I don't believe you" I said. "No, really, I am" came the reply. So, then I asked......."So then why haven't you screwed off and hung yourself yet?"
I walked and looked around some more for awhile. Pickings were slim, so I finally walked over to a plain and rather chunky chick. "Can I buy you a drink, babe?" I asked. "I'm fine" she answered. "No, you're not" I retorted. "But this place closes in 15 minutes, so you'll have to do." The slap really stung my cheek.
I have just the worst luck after hours.