coverit's profile

My wifes 40th birthday is Saturday, so in spite of me having to work Saturday, Sunday and Monday, it is just going to be a three day party. Just going to have to go to work hungover a few days. What do you guys have going on?

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry,we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.

What's the difference betwen a bitch and a whore? A whore screws every guy at the party. A bitch screws every guy at the party except you.

Talk about a great matchup. With Heat hurting IMO champ comes from this series. This one goes 6-7 for sure.

Seriously, people are just idiots. So, my step daughter graduated from Cal St. Fullerton on Saturday. My wife and I, my 5 year old son, and my 21 year old step son, along with his cousin, all attend. We're in the stadium, and they're announcing names, all that good stuff. A guy is trying to get back to his seat, went to get water or something, and my wife and I stand up to let him through. The people in back of us go nuts. "No, no, sit down! We're trying to take a picture of our daughter, they're calling her name soon." In a not so nice voice. So I look back and say, "settle down, don't talk to me that way." The guy gets an attitude! "I'll talk to you any way I want." Oh boy, so here we go! The guy is 5 foot nothing, 100 and nothing, and to boot, probably in his early 60's. What am I supposed to do with that? My son is sitting next to me, I'm in a crowded stadium, and not about to ruin my daughter's big day. So, I shake my head, and basically tell him, "whatever old man." He loses it a little more, tells me to "fuck off..." and that's when when I couldn't let it go. I calmly stood up, towered over him, and said, "look, shut your mouth, take your fucking picture, and let this go." This is all in a 45 second span maybe. About two minutes pass, they finally call his daughter's name. Could've had a marching band go through the aisle. So, I've calmed down some, thought to myself that I shouldn't have even said that much, I mean, he's old and my son is right there, but whatever, I'm not going to let him disrespect me like that. So what happens next? His son, or someone related to him, shows up, and he's a little more my size, but younger. I can hear him say, "that guy?" And whispers, etc. At this point, the ceremony is winding down. My son is talking to me about playing a game on my iphone. I'm trying to hold it together. My wife is hearing these guys yap away, and looks at me like, "they won't shut up." Funny thing, I didn't even think of having my 21 year old step son, a marine, come with me, I should have, but I got up, told my wife to watch my baby boy, and walked up to the old guy, and said, "look, if you want this to continue, bring your buddy, meet me outside the gate. I'll be by myself. If you don't, then shut up, I don't want to hear another word out of you in front of my family. You're ruining my day, don't ruin yours any more." He tried to act like he was going to do something and his wife tried to calm him down. I walked up to the gate, where there a security guard. I told him what was going on, but that I was going to wait here. If anything happened, please step in. He laughed about it. They never showed. I saw them walking out later, and no looks, nothing. Unreal. I guess the point of the story here is that once you're an asshole, you're an asshole forever? I was not going to hit some old dude, and I was fairly certain I could take his son or whatever, so I wasn't at all concerned, but really? Acting that way, and I've got a small child with me? It's what scares me about taking him to sporting events. I guess I'm at the point in my life where I just need to walk away no matter what.

My gas powered lawn mower needs replaced. I have a very small yard (takes longer to run the weed eater than it does to cut the grass) and I am thinking about just getting an electric mower. Anybody know anything about them. Are they good? Are they worth it? I have read mostly good things and a few bad. Just wondering if anybody has one and likes it. Thanks.

ESPN doubleheader pitting game 4 Boston at Philadelphia 8pm EST followed by game 3 of Oklahoma City at the LA Lakers at 10:30. GL

Kerry Wood to announce retirement CBSSPORTS- Cubs reliever Kerry Wood will retire Friday, Bruce Levine of ESPNChicago.com tweets. Wood, 34, was 0-2 with an 8.64 ERA in nine appearances so far this season. In 8 1/3 innings, he had allowed eight runs (all earned) on eight hits and 11 walks with just five strikeouts. Wood signed a one-year deal worth $3 million to stay with teh Cubs this season, with a team option for 2013. Wood gave up a run on a hit and two walks Tuesday against the Cardinals. Friday morning, Wood's wife posted a message that seemed to confirm the news on her Facebook page, writing: "every story has an end but in life every ending is just a new beginning." The fourth overall pick of the 1995 draft and 1998 Rookie of the Year will retire with a career record of 86-75 with a 3.67 ERA and 63 saves. Once a dominant starter, Wood reinvented himself as a reliever after arm troubles. Wood will always be remembered for his promise as much as his production. In just his fifth career start, a then-20-year-old Wood struck out 20 Houston Astros and allowed just one hit -- an infield single -- and no walks in a game on May 6, 1998. It was prehaps the greatest regular-season pitching performance in the game's history. Besides the infield single to Ricky Guiterrez, the only other batter to reach the base was Craig Biggio, who was hit by a pitch. Wood finished the season 13-6 with a 3.40 ERA, edging Todd Helton in National League Rookie of the Year voting. However, Wood's problems began the next season when he underwent Tommy John surgery in spring training of 1999, missing the entire season. He returned in 2000 and then returned to form in 2001, going 12-6 with a 3.36 ERA. He had perhaps his best season in 2003, going 14-11 with a 3.20 ERA and a league-leading 266 strikeouts as the Cubs won the NL Central and were famously within five outs of the World Series before losing to the Marlins and the Cubs. Wood struggled with injuries from 2004 to 2006, making 22 starts in 2004 and just 14 in the next two seasons combined. In 2007, he returned as a reliever and then recorded 34 saves in 2008. He signed on with the Indians in 2009 to serve as the team's closer and was traded to the Yankees during the 2010 season. He re-signed with the Cubs for the 2011 season and served as the set-up man to Carlos Marmol. He appeared in 55 games in 2011, putting up a 3.35 ERA and striking out 57 batters in 51 innings, while walking just 21. Wood will finish his career with 1,581 strikeouts after starting his career to become the fastest pitcher to 1,000 career strikeouts in just 134 games and 853 innings pitched.

MLB Pick: CHICAGO WHITE SOX +126 6 Units Record on Contest picks 6-1. Hope You Enjoy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYAN!! Hope you have a good one!

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Barbara, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "asshole" . He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So Barbara called him a "shit head". He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home. We always look for cars with "OBAMA 2012 stickers. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

MLB: Cleveland Indians +108 8 UNITS NBA: Boston Celtics +2 -115 6 UNITS LA LAKERS +8 -115 10 UNITS ( BEST PLAY OF THE NIGHT!!!!!) I Am Putting MY Word On THESE PICKS!!! Dont be scared, I do not put my WORD on A Pick Unless I belive it is a TRUE WINNER. SAD CLOWN IS OUT FOR REVENGE TODAY!!!!! LETS GET TO THE MONEY TOGETHER!!!

A's +150 Sorry if double post, don't know what happened to the other, or just don't see it! Don't get this line. Everyone expecting the Angels to snap out of it and be good. Well, they're just not. A month into it and they can't hit for squat. Santana has regressed, and is always good for a gopher ball or two. Colon dominated Anaheim the last time he faced 'em. I love my Angels, but in this spot, I'll take the value on the line and roll with Oakland. Good luck.

I had a feeling my Lakers might get their doors blown off. Wish I'd bet it, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Can OKC continue to hit shot after shot though, for a series? I think things get back to being a bit more normal on Tuesday. Hoping for an inflated line because of the blowout, and betting LA to get back into it, or at least not get embarrassed.

If you have never traveled to Cancun on vacation I must admit its a great place to go. Pleasantly surprised. Great people, great food, great sights and so much to do. Back later with some trivial shit and maybe a pick or two. Hope everyone had a great mother's day weekend and did well.