Men are NOT mind readers.
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday Sports: It's like the full moon or changing of the guard...let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are NEVER going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hits do NOT work! Strong hints do NOT work! Obvious hits do NOT work! JUST SAY IT!
"Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem -- See a doctor.
Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret Girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbis did not need directions and neither do we.
All men see in only sixteen colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit and NOT a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect and answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewher, absolutely anything you wear is fine...REALLY!
