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Family questions expensive wedding invitation

The Sun – Naperville (IL) April 5, 2006 luding my possibly having to take unpaid time off work to attend. We’re financially stable, and I do make a good middle-class income, so they say they’ve given us sufficient time to save for this trip. However, $4,000 is quite steep to us. Although we could afford it, it would come at the expense of other things we’ve planned. If they were to marry locally, we’d love to attend and said so. They feel we’re being selfish with our money; we feel they’re demanding too much. Who’s right, and what is the right way to deal with this situation?

– Jamaica Farewell Dear Jamaica: There are several elements for you to consider: 1) What’s right for you; 2) what’s right for them; and 3) the feelings either move will create. Yes, it’s annoying to have your choices dictated and limited by others; however, it is affordable for you, and this is your wife’s brother and a one-time event in her family’s life. Their big day is as meaningful to them as to any other bride and groom, whether or not they lived together beforehand. If you don’t go, you leave them hurt, angry and likely distanced from you as a couple. However, if you compromise on some of your plans, make this your vacation, too (leaving some time to be just you three) and shift a few plans to next year, you may just enjoy yourselves on a Jamaican beach. go to website essing wedding invitations

*** Q: I married my college sweetheart even though I knew he had a ferocious temper. It’s been three years; he often flies off the handle for the silliest of reasons — if I ask to see a movie or suggest a haircut for our daughter. He doesn’t like to go out in the evenings, and I’m sick of waiting at home all day; we live where there’s no public transport, and I’m at his mercy. When I ask to go out, he responds with, “I’m tired,” or “I’m sick. How dare you ask?” I’m being beaten down psychologically, but I have no resources to help myself. I used to work but left that after my baby, 18 months, and I’m pregnant. I married him defying my parents and keep telling them and myself that this is a perfect marriage and that all marriages have their ups and downs. But I’m scared that one day I’ll lose all my self-esteem and self-respect. I was a bubbly and outgoing person, and now I find myself lacking in confidence. We’re fairly well-off, and I don’t lack for anything physically, but mentally I’m in hell. Sometimes I want to kill myself. The only thing stopping me is my daughter. go to site essing wedding invitations

– Losing It Dear Losing It: Appeal to your husband’s instincts as a father: If there are moments when he feels some regrets for his behavior, suggest that for the sake of his children who witness his outbursts that he can provide a better legacy by going to a therapist or program that deals with anger management. He also sounds depressed, as if he’s locked into his feelings, so a sympathetic approach to his feeling “sick,” such as suggesting he see a doctor or a counselor to find the source, may be welcomed. Meanwhile, you must not let yourself sink to suicidal thoughts. When you feel desperate, call the local distress center in your area, found in the Yellow Pages. Your children need you, you have a life to live with them and much to offer them. Also, talk to the doctor you see when you go for pregnancy checkups or baby’s care. Ask for help connecting with a community agency. … There may be ways to get out of the house in the day for mom-and-baby activities that would lift your spirits and brighten your days.

With ample finances, you can ask your husband for a local taxi company’s charge account, since your child will need some outside stimulation through babies’ music, gym or playtime sessions. Through these programs you can build a supportive network with other mothers of youngsters, some of whom will drive, and visit each other and share these early child-rearing years.

TIP OF THE DAY Some difficult decisions just need to be adjusted to suit your own needs.